Car Accident...

Here I am driving on the highway.  I come around a curve in the road and a car on the right catches my eye.  I can see that the airbags have just gone off in this car.  I quickly realize no one else has pulled over.  I am in the far left lane (can’t help it my toes weigh at least 10 pounds apiece).  I immediately pull over to the right and back up so I am equal to the car on the other side of the highway.  I jump out of my car, and wait for a gap in the flood of cars.  I run across and can see at this point, both doors are closed.  I look in the front windshield and see two teenage girls crying.  I yell through the front glass, “Are you both okay??”  They both nod.  I yelled, “Have you called the police?”  They shake their heads no.  I had brought my phone with me thinking this might be the case.  I called 911 while walking around the car.  The airbags on the drivers side door have gone off, along with the airbag in the steering wheel.  I walk around to the back side of the car, the rear end of the car was in worse shape than the crushed front end.  The back left wheel was a foot from touching the ground.  This looked crazy bad.  I can’t believe they weren’t hurt.  So the 911 dispatcher comes on, and our conversation goes like this:      

911:  911, Can I help you?

Me:  There has been a car accident.

911:  Is everyone okay?

Me:  Yes, the two girls said they are okay.

911:  Where are you located?

Me:  Ummm, on the highway.

911:  Which highway?

Me:  Ummm, I am not sure

911:  You don’t know what highway you are on?

Me:  No

911:  What city are you in?

Me:  Ummm, I am not sure

911:  SILENCE

Me:  I travel from city to city with my job, I just plug the address into my GPS.  

911: Okay, what city are you in today?

Me:  Well, I am on my way home.

911:  What city did you just leave then?

Me:  I can’t remember!  *note...at this point I am starting to worry she is thinking I am the druggy that has hit these two girls** 

911:  Okay, you don’t know what city you left from.  Where are you heading?

Me: Home!

911:  Where is home?

Me: Ledyard

911:  Do you know how far you are away from home?

Me:  No...don’t you have the ability to track where my phone is?

911:  That takes a while.  Stay on the phone with me.  Do you see exit signs or mile markers?

Me: YES!!  There is a mile marker...42.  I think I am on 95...maybe?

911:  We found you, you aren’t on 95.  The police will be there in about 5 minutes.

Me:  Thank you!!  Just because I am curious...where am I?

911: Click.

I make my way back to the front windshield, and yell at them telling them the police will be 5 minutes.  They open up the door and step out.  I can see they are young, I immediately feel bad for them.  I have been in their shoes.  The policeman finally arrives and walks me to my car.  Oddly enough he asks me for my license.  He looks at it and then lets me leave after getting my cell number in case they need to call me.  After driving away I realized the 911 dispatcher probably told the cops that the woman that called them is about as high as a kite.  

When I got home, I was telling the Chief about the crazy incident.  He said, “Thats nice that they could have someone so experienced with car accidents helping them!”  

Yes, yes, I think I am at 14 car accidents.  I have NEVER injured ANYONE in my accidents.  I have totaled two of my own cars and done some hefty damage to some others.  At one point, a few years back, I was in an accident where I was the last car in a four car pile up.  My car had to get a new bumper and hood.  It was in the shop for a week.  I was so excited to get it back...so excited that I rear ended another car.  As I am pulling up to the shop, I get out and the guy at the Chevy dealership comes out and says to me, “Didn’t like the last bumper we gave you?”  Ha ha very flippin funny smart ass, just fix the bumper and be glad I am keeping you in business.  

My parents insurance states on the insurance slip: MY NAME is not insured under this policy.  Not kidding.  My dad tells everyone that.  I don’t know if he is proud or if he just wants to get a good laugh.  Well, at least he can do it at my expense.

Homeless

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be homeless?  I don’t know why, but this question often weighs on my mind.  If I am driving and I see an empty field or woods, I wonder if there are people hiding in there.  I don’t live in an area full of homeless people or anything, I just wonder what their life is like.  I look out the window and think to myself, “If I were homeless where would I be standing?”  I have no idea why I think about this all the time.  Never have I been homeless, or even close.  

When I was a teenager, I often drove to areas where I would see homeless people standing on the side of the road.  I worked in Dallas at a summer job.  I would exit the highway and see the same man standing there every day.  One day I went through the drive-through at McDonalds, and bought him a breakfast meal.  He seemed so excited, although now as an adult I am sure he wasn’t that thrilled and would have been more happy with money.  I also passed a woman once.  She was standing on the corner barefoot.  I looked at the seat next to me, where I had my workout tennis shoes laying there.  I picked them up, rolled down my window and handed them to her.  Of course she probably had her puma’s on the front seat of her escalade that was parked around the corner...but at 16, I didn’t know that.  I also would give these people cans of vegetables.  As an adult, I laugh at how naive I was.

Think about this.  You pick a busy corner to stand on, starting at 8 in the morning.  That light changes 3 times every ten minutes.  You probably get an average of one sucker a light.  You probably get an average of 2 bucks.  That is thirty-six dollars an hour!  That is a crap load of money.  If you work 8 hours a day that is $288 a day.  That is $1,440 a week (5 days), and $5,760 a month (4 weeks).  Of course you have your bad days, and you also have your good days.  At $5,760 a month, these people are banking!  After doing this math, I think I’m going to go digging in the shed for a pathetic piece of cardboard!!  See you later, I have some rolling in the dirt to do!  

Little Man

When you have a child, you are full of excitement and joy.  You can’t wait for the next step.  I remember wanting the Little Man to sit up so bad.  I would sit him in the corner of the couch so he could get practice.  I would sit him on the floor surrounded by pillows, hoping he would give me just 5 seconds of unassisted sitting up action.  Then one day he did.  It was just for a moment, but at the time it was the moment of the week.  After that small step, I would wait for him to crawl.  I would lay toys just out of his reach, hoping he would scoot to them.  I was always eager for the next milestone.  

Now I am raising a preteen.  He turns 12 next week.  My baby, my joy...is no longer a child that needs my every moment.  He is independent.  He is extremely bright.  He is outgoing and he is beautiful.  I watch him and sometimes wonder how he is made up of me.  When I look at him, I don’t see me.  His eyes are wider then mine.  His face structure is simple, but defined.  His eyelashes are long, thick and beautiful.  His smile brightens the room.  He is also open.  He doesn’t hide his feelings.  You can easily read him.  When he is happy is face is bright.  When he is upset, you can see it when he tangles his eyebrows, and presses his lips together tightly.  He is an open book.  He talks to anyone about anything.  He struggles with relationships.  He wants to be loved by everyone.  His status in his social world means more to him than anything else.  He wants to be popular, and he wants to be chosen over other students.  

Raising him isn’t easy.  I know no one said raising a child was easy.  I have, though, heard that it gets easier as they get older.  I would like to meet the person that started this nasty rumor.  It doesn’t get easier.  I am not just dealing with raging hormones, I am dealing with a raging mouth.  When they turn eleven does everything he ever learned fall out of his brain?  

I almost feel as though I am raising a stranger.  He is growing up so fast.  He is developing his own sense of humor.  He is funny, but mostly to himself.  He is disrespectful at times, like any child.  He is also mean at times.  Mean to me, mean to his dad, and mean to others. It is so hard for me to see my Little Man be mean.  I remember when he was the most precious little thing.  He would reach his little arms out for me to hold him.  Now those same arms cross over his chest in a very closed off manner.  Luckily, I have a child that can’t hide his feelings...at least he can’t yet.  I love that he feels he can communicate with me.  He tells me what he and his girlfriend talk about.  He tells me what the kids at school say and do.  He tells me he loves me.  Now when he says it though, it is different.  It is almost like a mumble under his breath...mechanical.  It is a chore.  He says it because he always says it.  I don’t feel like he means it anymore.  I know my child loves me, but it is like I have lost my Little Man.  He is growing up.  He is practically a teenager.  It is no longer important for him to climb in my lap.  He doesn’t want to hug me.  He doesn’t want to hold my hand when we are crossing the street.  He wants to hang out with his friends.  He wants to socialize.  He wants to be a normal teenager.  Unfortunate for his mom.  My Little Man, is no longer little.  He is becoming a man.  

Hallmark Card

I am so excited!  Someone FINALLY came to Connecticut to see me!!  So I am at the airport the other day, sitting in my car waiting for her to come out.  I am doing one of my favorite things...people watching.  Have you ever sat in an airport and watched all the love?  You can actually see it!  Okay, so you are thinking how can you SEE love.  Love is a feeling and can’t be seen, but it can be expressed.  The airport is a perfect example.

So I am sitting in my car and I see these people standing on the curb waiting for their rides, and cars pull up to pick people up.  I felt like I was witnessing a Hallmark card.  I am tearing up watching people!!  So a van pulls up in front of me and an old man (by old I don’t just mean oldER than me, I mean old...70).  He climbs out of the van and almost runs to the other side.  Then I see his sunshine...a radiant old woman.  She is beautiful, with a scarf around her frail little neck.  He runs to her and puts his very thin arms around her.  They stand there for a while like that...just hugging.  Then I realize they are crying.  So naturally I start crying.  So here I am in my car, watching this movie scene fall apart before my eyes, and there is a tap on my window.

Okay, let’s talk about the tap for a minute.  It wasn’t really a tap, it was more like a bang.  I am a jumpy person, so here I am...knee deep into a Lifetime movie and I hear this bang which of corse scares the shit out of me.  I let out a yelp and then realized it was an airport cop.  I rolled down my window and he said, “Are you picking someone up?”  No, I just had a couple extra hours and thought I would spend them sitting in front of the airport watching people come and go-”yes.”  

“Well, you can’t sit here.  You can only stop if the person you are picking up is standing here, I need you to move.”  

“Yes, SIR!” I said (with the most outrageous voice I could).  I pulled away, just as the old man was putting his wife’s bag into the trunk.  So I looped around the airport imagining their story.  They have been together since high school, they have four kids, 84 grandkids, and she flew to visit her sister who is very sick.  Here she is coming back home to her husband, and she finally feels she can unload all the stress that has been on her shoulders for the week she has been next to her dying sister’s side.  She feels his arms around her and just lets go.  In reality, it probably wasn’t the old man’s wife, it was probably his mistress...but for the sake of my sanity, lets stick to the Lifetime movie theory.

This time I go around to the drop-off section of the airport.  I figure I can sit here and wait without being harassed.  So I pull by the curb and wait.  In front of me is a convertible with the top down (they must think they are in Texas).  Inside sits an older man and a younger girl.  I can see them talking to each other.  Then they get out, and I realize it is father and daughter.  He grabs her and hugs her so hard that he lifts her off the ground.  She is just laughing at how silly her dad is acting.  Here comes the water works.  Why is this sad?  This is sad, because he is probably sending her off to college.  He has raised her on his own for 19 years, and now he has to let her go.  She is an adult and he has to release her into this jungle of a world.  This to me is very sad.  I can see he is trying to make light of the situation when you and I both know, as soon as his little girl walks into the airport he is going to break down and cry.  I look around my car for a tissue to hand him.  BOOOM (on my window)!  Are you freaking kidding me?  Don’t you jack wagons have anything better to do then to bother me and my Lifetime movie marathon??  I didn’t even bother rolling down the window, “Yeah, yeah” I yelled as I pulled away to make yet another loop around the airport.  

Thirty minutes and 64 loops later, my own Hallmark card arrived. I am so lucky to have friends that come visit me even though I live so far away.  That in itself is enough to make me cry.  God has blessed me!!

Charlie Sheen...

OMG!  If I even hear the name Charlie Sheen again, I am seriously going to take a pencil and put it through my eye, and then wiggle it around.  Then I am going to pull it out and put it in my ear and do the same thing.  

Okay, this blog might hurt the Chiefs BFF...so I will apologize now.  Don’t read further if you think the sun rose and set on this guy.  Then if you are like almost everyone else, continue forward.  

I have to say, I am doing EXACTLY what I disagree with.  I am giving him the time of day.  I need to get this off my chest though, and currently there is nothing else to complain about in my life. 

Lets talk about his short list of accomplishments....he is the first person to reach 1 MILLION followers on twitter, and ummmm....oh yeah, he HAD a big role in that hit show Two and a Half Men.  

Now lets discuss his list of foes....(directly from TMZ website)

1980 At the age of 15 he took his fathers credit card and used it to sleep with a prostitute in Vegas.  He confessed this in the 2001 Playboy Magazine interview he did.  

1997 He pled no-contest to criminal charges filed by his girlfriend (at the time) Brittany Ashland.  Brittany said he grabbed her by the hair and slammed her into the marble floor knocking her unconscious.  Again, he didn’t plead not guilty, he pled no contest.  

2006 Denise Richards’ came forward saying that her estranged husband has threatened her and his alleged pornography and prostitution habits have put their children at risk.  

2011 He had a briefcase full of cocaine delivered to his home.

Despite his charming background of being a faithful loving husband and father, he still gets nonstop media attention.  The man has a history of retraining orders, prostitutes, and domestic abuse calls.  Yet still we put him all over the front of our magazines, we put time and effort into his lifestyle and what he is up to.  HE HAS ONE MILLION FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER!  Wrap your head around that for a second.  One million people care about what is going on with this guy.  WHY?  Because he is this wonderful person that has done good for people that needed help?  Or is it because he is an amazing father?  No wait, I know.  Because he is a train wreck, people love to watch train wrecks.  

It makes my skin crawl that this man slut has children.  What an example for a father.  The man is going to kill himself.  If he wants destroy his life, then why did he bother to have kids?  Because he is selfish.  He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.  Why should he?  We-and by we I mean you-give him all the publicity that keeps him ticking.  Any publicity is considered good publicity.  He doesn’t care what he is doing to his kids.  

The guy is a piece of shit.  Actually he is worse than that.  He is like the maggots that crawl on the shit.  I hate that we waste time and effort (as I am doing now) on this man.  I am going to say this last thing.  When anything pops up on TV about this guy I change the channel.  If there is an article in the magazine, I flip over it.  With an exception of this blog, this man will not win my valuable time.  I refuse to watch the show (really a show with a manwhore in the home setting an example for a child?  Really?  Oh wait...gosh this is sounding like his real life...even worse).  Okay, I’m done.   

Privacy

So last week I am filling out paperwork to get this guy signed up on new credit card service.  In the paperwork it requires all the basic business information AND it requires the personal information (of the owner/president).  So I normally fly through these questions and people have no problems with the personal ones.  Is it crazy to anyone that people don’t hesitate over giving up their social security number, DOB, or home address?  I am so used to it that when you get the one person that puts up a fight it is comes off as almost a shock to me.  WHAT?  You don’t want to give me your social security number?  

So I am sitting with this guy who is mobile (he works out of his vehicle).  We are inside a McDonalds with the paperwork spread out.  I am asking him all the basic info and I get to the address of his business.  Because he is mobile he is supposed to defer to his home address.  He starts of babbling a PO box.  I explain they can’t use a PO box because they have to be able to tie this business to a physical address.  He said he doesn’t have one.  I know he lives in a home because by this point I know more about the guy than I really want to.  He said he doesn’t want to give me his home address because the police are after him.  

So I go from my writing to position (hunched over filling out paperwork) to my therapist position (leaning back in my seat with my arms crossed over my chest).  “This is gonna be good,” I think to myself.  He proceeds to tell me that the cops have been showing up at his house for no apparent reason.  It gets better.  They don’t just show up, they beat on his door and shine flashlights into his windows.  Wait it gets better.  Then when he comes to the door, they pull him out and beat him up.  Gotta love those government employees.  Wait, what?  “They come and beat you up?” I screech.

“Yeah, so I don’t want anyone having my home address,” he answers back to me.  

I am sitting there thinking, “ How do I respond to that?”  There were so many routes I wanted to take:

Route 1: “So let me get this straight.  Instead of the donut break they take a beat-up break?  They show up for no apparent reason and beat the crap out of you?”  This guy has already spilled his life story, and in that life story he has informed me that he has a foster child.  So naturally along with my confusion about the police, I wonder what has gone so wrong with CPS that they hand a child to a. a man that has police at his house nightly, or b. someone who is so crazy he thinks the police are at his house nightly. “Why are they beating you up?  Do they take you to jail or just show up and kick the crap out of you?”...oh so many questions and so little time.

Route 2: “Are you hearing the voices right now?”

Route 3: “I know, they show up at my house too.  Stupid overweight cops.  You would think they have something better to do, right?  I have invited them in, but NOPE, they would rather beat me up.  Just pull me right out on my stoop and kick me in the side until I am spitting blood.  It’s probably because they are union.  Those unions have America by the balls.  So I’m in the same boat as you...stupid cops.  So what is your home address?”   

Route 4 (and the route I decide to take): “Wow, well we need some kind of physical address.  They aren’t going to sell your address, or give it to anyone on the streets.  I need an actual address in order to set this up.”

He ends up giving me his home address, and interestingly enough doesn’t hesitate over giving me his social security number or DOB.   

This really gets me thinking.  Why do we need privacy?  I ask the Little Man, “If you aren’t doing anything wrong, what do you have to hide?”  Although I say this, I know he is entitled to privacy.  We all are.  Privacy is a human right, and without it we are stripped of our dignity and respect.  Most of us (born after 1970) don’t think anything of doing things online.  Our phones are attached to our hips and we do our banking online.  Some even twitter where they are every ten steps they take.  We check our emails every ten minutes and buy things with our credit cards without ever leaving our homes.  We rely on this idea called the “internet”.  Then you have others (much older generation) that refuse to do things online.  They go to the bank the old fashioned way.  They write checks (with those long thin things that have ink that comes out), stick it in the envelope, and put an actual stamp on it before walking down to the mailbox and sending it off in the snail mail.  They have this fear...fear is almost an understatement...they have this phobia that typing their name into a computer is like standing in a crowd of people and stripping down to bare skin.  

This is really two very different problems.  How is the government invading our privacy, and how people react to giving away their personal information.  The problem I am talking about is the lesser of the two evils.  I know that these older folks fear having their identity stolen, but how often does that really happen?  Surprisingly, 9 out of 10 business owners give me their social without thinking twice.  I give mine out without a worry in the world.  It is the way society has been trained.  In this job I sell credit card terminals.  I am STILL shocked when I come across businesses that don’t take credit cards.  How do people pay you?  I don‘t know about you, but I don’t even carry cash or checks.  I put everything on the card, as do most Americans.  Why do people think credit cards are so horrible?  I had a guy a couple weeks ago that thought I was there about his PERSONAL credit card.  Once he found out I was there to try to get him to accept credit cards at his business he nearly pushed me out the door.  His eyes got big and he barked, “I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PEOPLE, LEAVE NOW!”  Really?  YOU PEOPLE?  Did he seriously just profile me?  I turned around and walked out, mumbling under my breath, “YOU are a freak.”  But is he?  Are credit cards really a horrible thing?  Can you imagine society going to back cash and check?  I know this is just a matter of opinion, but society is definitely pushing one direction.  Next time you are leaving a movie, get to the door and then turn around and try walking back to your seat.  How easy is it?  Probably not a piece of cake considering you have a hundred people walking in the opposite direction. 

Products

This post has taken me some time to put together.  I have been wanting to compile a list of my favorite products.  Some have been brought into my life by friends, others I discovered on my own.  I want to share with you all a list of my favorites products that I can't live without.  These are not in order of importance, because I feel they are all equally important.

1. Ivory dish soap.  This product I discovered in the home of the Chiefs BFF.  She is a clean freak, and she uses this soap in the sponge she uses on her dishes.  It is WONDERFUL.  It fights grease like Mike Tyson fights Evander Holyfield.  And the smell is an aroma sent straight from heaven.

2.  409 Natural Stone Cleaner.  This is in the form of a spray.  It isn't easy to find.  Not every store carries it.  This product is an amazing streak free cleaner for your marble/granite counter tops.  It is 409, so it smells clean...and it doesn't leave streaks.  WONDERFUL stuff!

3. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.  This product was brought into my life by my very "product aware" BFF.  She, like me, finds amazing products.  Many of my treasured finds are through her.  These are the handiest little sponges.  This will wipe about anything off anything.  If you have pesky children that run their hands all over your walls (or a husband), if you have scuff marks on walls, floors, ceilings this is your product.  We had black skid marks all over our stairs when we moved in, and I sent Little Man to the stairs last weekend with this sponge, and they are GONE!  I LOVE this little thing.  It is a little pricey for a box of two, but it is money you won't regret spending.  It even cleans your shoes!

4. Glad Force Flex Odor Shield.  Bet you are wondering what that is right?  Bags for your garbage can.  This too was imported into my life by the Chiefs BFF.  These are the GREATEST garbage bags.  Doesn't matter how tight you pack your trash in there, this thing will not break open anywhere.  It has a nice smell (which we all know might as well be worthless after a couple tosses of leftovers).  These bags are just wonderful...LOVE them.

5. Nivea Lip Stuff.  This is the most remarkable lip moisturizer (chapstick) that I have ever come across.  It is clear, so it goes on clear.  It leaves a nice look to your lips, and if you like color they have the same stuff in light pink. It doesn't have any smell or any flavor, and it quickly fixes my chapped lips.  I am addicted.  Another product that isn't too easy to find.  Walgreens has them, and when I get over there, I stock up.  Great stuff that makes those lips look kissable!      

6. Clorox Clean up cleaner with bleach.  I sleep with this stuff under my pillow.  When I daydream of the most wonderful day, it includes this product.  As many houses as I have cleaned, I don't leave home without this stuff.  Simply spraying this on a shower (where you have mildew), will make that stuff disappear.  No scrubbing needed.  Of course if you have time, you want to follow up with a good scrub, but if you don't then just spray it and go.  If you have stains on your counters, or your bathtub is starting to have that ring...simply spray and walk away.  If your toilet is starting to look like smeared chocolate bars, spray and walk (then give your husband a scrub brush and have HIM do the follow up).  This is my ALL TIME favorite product.  To me there are very few things that top the smell of a bleach clean sensation.

7. Intuition Razors.  If you don't already use this, this makes shaving your legs little to no effort.  You know how a hound dog pees?  The are so lazy that they don't even lift their legs.  They simply stretch and let it flow, hoping it doesn't spray on their cankles.  This is how I feel about this razor.  I can do it as easily as I can take a washcloth and wash myself.  It already has the soap on the end of the razor.  You don't have to apply soap to your legs, you don't have to apply shaving cream.  You can stand there in the shower and stretch and have both legs shaved in less than 30 seconds.  The bad thing is that it only last for probably 5 shaves, then you need a new cartridge.  If you HATE shaving your legs, and don't have time for all the prepping, this is your best bet.

8. Smart Living Steam Mop.  So the Chief and I went to this home improvement thing.  Products were displayed for you to try out and see in action.  We caved and bought this thing.  You don't need any products, you only need water.  You fill this thing with water and run it across your floor.  The temperature gets up to about 120 degrees.  It is extremely hot.  Don't try and balance it on your foot while you bend down to pick something up.  This thing is magnificent, and leaves your floor shiny and sparkly.  The down side, is it plugs into the wall.  I hate having to run around with plugs and cords, but sometimes to get the good, you have to deal with the bad.  When you use it, the steam gives the impression of a professional...which not only makes it fun, but makes your husband feel like it was worth the money (anything that steams is intimidating to them...you would think the smeared chocolate bars they leave behind in the toilet would have the same effect...I have yet to see those results).

9. Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Anti Frizz Serum.  This mind blowing oil goes on your hair after you get out of the shower.  It leaves your hair feeling VERY silky.  If you have as many babies as I do, then you know about those little stupid frizzy hairs that appear out of no where.  This serum not only tames it, but scares it flat.  I have always felt that when I use this, my hair dries faster.  Only one squirt in the hand, rub it all over...then go about your regular fixing.  Whether I am curling my hair or straightening it, this stuff makes its appearance first.

Okay, I could possibly add to this later, but for now, I will leave it at these nine products.  I hope you use them and tell your friends.  Thank you to the couple friends I mentioned in here for introducing me to such special artifacts.  I hope they help you as much as they have helped me!!