Oh Deer!

Me: Holy cow! Was that a deer?

Chief: Yep.

Me: Poor guy.

Long pause...

Me: You would think a deer that size would have caused serious damage to a car, right?

Chief: Yep.

Me: Enough damage that a tow truck or even a police officer might have to get involved, right?

Chief: Yep.  Maybe.

Me: Then why the hell didn’t someone tow that deer off the side of the road?  They were there at the scene anyway.

Chief: That is a whole other department that takes care of that.

Me: Oh.

Long pause...

Me: What if it wasn’t dead?

Chief: That deer was dead, I assure you.

Me: No, I mean what if it wasn’t dead when they hit it?  What if it just really hurt the poor guy?

Chief: Then they shoot it.

Me: Who shoots it?  The cop?  He can just open fire in the middle of the highway and shoot a deer?

Chief: Anyone that is licensed to carry a gun.

Me: What if it was me who hit the deer...

Chief: Wouldn’t surprise me.

Me: I wasn’t done.  What if it was me and I stopped and saw that he wasn’t quit dead.  What would I do?

Chief: Back up and run over him again.

Me: Seriously?  And risk popping my tires on his horns?

Chief: Antlers.  Okay, then let it suffer.

Me: Okay, someone hits a deer, and they don’t have a gun...what do they do? Seriously?

Chief: Hit it with a bat.

Me: Who the hell carries a bat in their car?

Chief: Someone who plays baseball.

Me: Never mind.  I am done playing this with you.  

This is a cousin of the deer we saw.  This guy is happy, not dead.

Family Date 1

Friday the Chief and I went out on our weekly dinner date.  Actually, it’s the three of us.  This Friday, we had a guest...Little Man’s girlfriend.  He wanted to invite her to dinner, so we went and picked her up.  We took full advantage of our parental duties of humiliation. 

Little Man’s new saying is “legit”.  Weeks ago, we tried to explain to him where that originated came from.  MC Hammer.  He had no idea who that was, so we took it a step further and pulled out the Chief’s ipod and played the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlRScuN-x5U

So, while we had him and the girlfriend trapped in the truck, we decided to pull out Little Man’s new favorite song...NOT.  As the song came on, Chief broke out in full blown dancing from the front seat.  I turned and glanced at Little Man who was now in the fetal position with his hands covering his ears.  The girlfriend was laughing uncomfortably.  After playing out the song, we moved on to the pictures.  Okay, just one that I happened to have on my phone.

Then, lucky for all involved, we arrived at the restaurant.  We get a very interesting waiter.  He seemed a little...off.  Those of you that know the Chief, know his lovely sense of humor.  

Waiter: Would you like a box for your leftover pizza?

Chief: Well, I am not sure a bag would work because it would just fold up and make a mess.  Yes, a box would be great.

Waiter: Would you like to see a dessert menu?

Chief: She will have the brownie sundae, with no nuts...unless you have an epi pen handy...

I’m not sure if the waiter didn’t get the jokes, or if he simply didn’t like my adorable husband, but he walked off.  I of course, remembering we still had some embarrassing to do, turned to the Chief and pinched his cheek and told him he was fantastically hysterical.  Little Man rolled his eyes, while his date was making mental notes of how she was going to end the relationship after dinner.

Family date one.  Success.

Good times, good times.