Gun Control

G is for Gun Control.  So the big hype right now?  Gun control.  I really don’t like to blog too much about politics.  I don’t want to talk about something I don’t really know and understand.  Gun control?  This is what I know.  Obama is trying to ban guns.  Although he hasn’t admitted this, that is what he really wants.  He currently is trying to ban assault rifles, and high capacity magazines...he also wants to make you jump through hoops in order to own a gun.

Do you understand guns don’t kill people?  PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!!  Guns don’t go off on their own.  It takes a human controlling the trigger.  Sandy Hook recently had a terrible tragedy that took the lives of many innocent adults and children.  As soon as this happened, Obama used this as a stepping stone to further his agenda.  Maybe I just don’t get it...clearly I don’t.  He is making it harder for people to get guns to protect themselves and their families for crazy people like this guy?  I mean, crazy people will find ways to get guns, right?  So if they get the guns, how do I protect myself from them if I am not allowed to have them?  I know we are currently allowed to have them, but if Obama has his way...this could change.  

Just a few short weeks ago, we had a terrorist scare.  We had two people drop off two backpacks that happened to be bombs.  People are dead.  People are injured.  Shouldn’t we ban bombs?  They kill people just like guns do.  Oh wait, we have banned bombs.  Who got their hands on them?  Criminals.  Two criminals who were on the loose.  Eventually they caught and killed one of the two...then there was one.

The dilemma?

This man was on the loose in a neighborhood.  Let me just throw this hypothetical out there.  What if he was in MY neighborhood.  He is in MY backyard.  Currently I am allowed to only have ten rounds in my gun (in Connecticut).  Here is the problem.  I don’t know how to shoot a gun.  I am fairly certain that I am not going to be able to shoot this man with the only ten shots I have.  Now what?  Take the time to change clips?  By the time I change clips he is now in my face grabbing that gun out of my hand.  He comes into my home because I have missed in ten shots.  He has a gun.  BAM!  I am dead.  My child is dead.  Chief is dead.  Now we have a terrorist hiding out in a home...safe.  A place no one will think to look for him.  This is a scary thought for me.  Let’s add another twist.  Let’s just say they didn’t kill the first guy.  So now there is two of them.  I only have ten shots to hit TWO people...ten shots, THEN I have to take the time to either switch guns, or change my clip.  Do you think with shaky hands that I will be able to do that in a timely manner?  I think not.  Bummer if I am not an experienced shooter.  With only ten rounds, it is likely I will not be able to protect my family.  Well, at least I had a gun with ten rounds to make an ATTEMPT at protecting myself.  I can’t imagine losing that right.  

I don’t claim to know and understand politics.  I am very confident that I DON’T understand MOST of what goes on in politics.  What I DO know is that right now, in the state of Connecticut, I am allowed to have ten rounds at a time.  I DO know that Obama is trying to ban guns that shoot off many rounds at a time.  Why would someone like me need to own a gun like that?  Because this world is a sick place.  If I need to protect myself and my child, I want to have the ability to do that.  I don’t want to be limited on the amount of times I can aim and shoot.  

It is my right as a citizen.  

Samuel Adams:

"Among the natural rights of the colonists are these: first, a right to life, secondly to liberty, thirdly to property; together with the right to defend them in the best manner they can."

John Adams:

"Arms in the hands of the citizens may be used at individual discretion for the defense of the country, the overthrow of tyranny or private self-defense."

Thomas Jefferson:

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

Thomas Jefferson, in an early draft of the Virginia constitution:

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms in his own lands."     

These are some brilliant men.  At what point are we going to stop the government from trying to take away our rights as citizens?  Taking weapons out of MY hands, doesn’t stop the bad guys from getting their hands on them.  They manage to get drugs, and bombs.  Even though both are illegal.  Do they think taking away our rights to own guns is going to take guns out of the hands of the criminals?  Are you shitting me?  I assure you, the bad guys will find a way to get things that are illegal.  They always have, and they always will.  Please don’t take away my gun when the bad guy still has his.  

Feel Free to IMPROVE

I have written about my C25K...

I am writing a letter to Michelle Obama, and would LOVE to get your input in my letter.  PLEASE if you see any mistakes, or ways I can word things different, I would greatly appreciate it.  This is your opportunity to rip up my writing (for the good).  Don't just tell me it is good, tell me how I can improve it.  I need to mail it out by Wednesday...so the clock is ticking!!

Thank you!!

My name is **.  I am a 7th grade Language Arts teacher at ** Middle School in **, Connecticut.  I am excited to share with you what our school is doing to follow your lead in your Let’s Move Program.  

Recently coming out of a pregnancy, I felt unmotivated to get back in shape.  I was talking to a student and told her I needed to get back into shape.  I explained that I considered doing a C25K (Couch-to-5-K).  She asked if it was something she could do with me after school.  Excited at the thought of having someone join me, I decided to open the offer up to our entire team (70 students).  I also convinced another teacher on my team, Sarah * , to run with us.  Sarah, also wanting to get in shape, quickly agreed.  Over a two week period, we went from two teachers and a student to two teachers and 13 students. 

After we got permission slips signed, we started our eight week program.  The C25K is a program that trains you to be able to run a 5k.  It starts off with a short run/walk method.  We are four weeks in and we are already up to running 3 minutes/5 minutes/3 minutes/5 minutes.  

This group of kids motivate me.  If it weren’t for them showing up every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday...I wouldn’t have stuck with it at long as I have.  These students have odds stacked against them.  They come from an underprivileged school AND a quarter of them are battling obesity.  Despite their obstacles, we have not had a single student drop out.  We have, however, gained two students and three teachers.  

I just want to share with you what it is like to be encouraged by children.  Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, these students give up their after school time (45 minutes) to head out into the warm weather for a difficult run.  To see the faster students circle the slower students and give them encouragement and accolades for running, is absolutely inspiring.  When I am struggling, I just look at them and my desire to walk dissipates.  The energy and heart they have, keeps me pushing forward.  

Our plan is to run a 5k at the end of our eight weeks (June 8th or 9th).  We feel they have earned the right to wear a number across their chest as they run through the finish line of a goal that seemed unachievable to many of them.  These kids have changed my life in a wonderful way.  I know they have motivated the other teachers and each other.  We are so proud of them and I wanted to share their achievement with you.  Thank you for promoting health and exercise for children.  

E is missing

E is missing...

Little Man: Why do grades go A, B, C, D...F?

Me: I have no clue...

Little Man: What do they stand for?

Me: A stands for awesome...

Little Man: B stands for barely there...

Me: C stands for crummy...

Little Man: D stands for dummy...

Me: It’s not a Dr. Suess book, dude. 

Little Man: F stands for fail.

Me: Okay, sounds good.

Little Man: So then why?

Me: Why what?

Little Man: Why do they leave out the “E” grade?

Me: I don’t know.

Little Man: Aren’t you a teacher?

Me: Yep, but we don’t use the letter “E”...

Little Man: I know! Why don’t you?

Me: We don’t like it. It’s no fun writing the letter “E”...

Little Man: Hugh?

Me: What?

Little Man: MOM!! Seriously! Just tell me!

Me: I can’t, it’s top secret.  

Little Man: Really?

Me: No.

Little Man: Then tell me.

Me: I have no idea!

Little Man: Empty-headed?

Me: Exhausted.  Stop talking, you are hurting my ears.

Little Man: .... Can we play the quiet game?

Me: Why do you want to always play the quiet game when I tell you to stop talking?

Little Man: It makes it fun.

Me: Why does not talking need to be fun?

Little Man: Can we play?

Me: Fine. 

Little Man: GO!

18 seconds later...

Little Man: I bet they couldn’t think of anything bad that starts with an E, so they left it out.  D and F are bad...if F is fail, then E would need to be almost fail.  They couldn’t think of anything good that started with the letter E, so they just left it out.

Me: You lost.

Little Man: Lost what?

Me: The quiet game.  

Little Man: Oh yeah, let’s start again. Go.

21 seconds later...

Little Man: Mom, can I get a snack?

Me: OMG.  Can you be quiet?

Little Man: Can I eat first?

Me: I thought you wanted to play the game.  

Little Man: What game?

Me: Holy crap! You have the attention span of a goldfish.  

Little Man: So is that a yes?

Me: Go away.  

Defense

Little Man has recently taken up the challenge of Lacrosse.  For those if you that don’t know...Lacrosse is hockey in the air, without ice.  It looks much easier than it actually is.  I have practiced in the backyard with Little Man.  The supplies you need?  A stick with a teeny tiny stupid little itty bitty net on the end that you are supposed to catch the ball with...as it flies through the air.  I have a hard enough time seeing the ball, much less catching it in a teeny tiny stupid little itty bitty net on the end of a ten foot pole.  Little Man?  Well, lets just say he was given my gift when it comes to sports.  I will always believe some kids were born with the natural gift of being athletic...and other kids were born with the gift of looking pretty.  Little Man?  He's adorable.

A few days ago Little Man had practice.  When he came home he was limping.  I asked him what happened.  He explained the goalie didn’t show up for practice, so the coach had him fill in.  

Me: Seriously, why are you limping?

Little Man: I just told you...coach had me in as goalie.

Me: You can barley play defense, and he has you playing goalie?  Why the hell would he do that?

Little Man: Well, I volunteered.

Me: You?  YOU volunteered?

Little Man: I know, right?

Me: How did that go?

Little Man turns around and whips down his pants just enough to show me four large welts between his lower back and his booty.  

Me: What the hell?

Little Man: Yeah, I know.  It hurts.

Later that evening, Chief comes home.  I told him that Little Man took the ball hard in practice.  

Chief: Hugh?  Why were you playing goalie?

Little Man: I volunteered to step in.  

Chief: Why do you have bruises?

Little Man: The goalie gets hit with the ball.

Chief: Only if he sucks.  He is supposed to catch the ball...

Little Man: Dad, it comes really fast, and those rubber balls really hurt.

Chief: You got bruises all over your thighs?

Little Man: No, my butt.

Chief: Your butt?  How the hell did you manage that??

Little Man: Every time the ball came my way, I turned around and ducked.

Chief: That’s my girl!

Again...just how my kid rolls.  The ball comes towards him, he turns around, covers his head, and bends over.  Takes it to the ass for the team.  Other times?  The ball flies past him directly into the goal. Either way, he loses.  

Tonight he played his best game.  He is finally getting the hang of it.  He played excellent defense, even the coach said it was the best game he has ever played.  He even got put in the penalty box!  I have never been so proud!!  

C-Through

Getting dressed in the morning is always exasperating. I teach 7th graders, so I try to look hip.  Not teen section hip, but adult hip.  This is always a challenge.  This morning was no different than any others.  I am very simple and routine.  

5:45 Alarm goes off

5:46 Check Facebook updates

5:49 In shower

6:05 Towel dry

6:08 Lotion/moisturizer/hair serum

6:10 Underwear and bra

6:12 Blow dry hair

6:20 Straight iron

6:25 Eyeliner and Mascara

6:28 Get dressed in clothes that were supposed to be picked out previous night

6:30 Go downstairs and talk to Chief

6:40 Leave for work

Kids have to report to homeroom by 7:30.  Then I have classes until 2:15 (with some breaks between).  

This day goes by like every other day.  At the end of the day, we have a study hall class.  I was sitting in my classroom when one of my students (that is in another homeroom class) comes in to talk to me.  She stands and patiently waits her turn (I have a line of kids waiting to talk to me).  I assumed she was there to ask a question about the homework...like most other students.

Boy was I wrong.

She bends over very close to me and says, “Mrs. J, I think I need to tell you something...” 

I brace myself.

“Mrs. J, you can totally see through your dress.  All the boys are talking about it.”

Oh. My. Good. Lord.

Awesome.

“Seriously?!?” I moan.

“Yeah, they are all talking about your white panties.”

I vomit a little in my mouth as sweat beads poor out of orifices that I didn’t know I had.  I look at the clock.  2:10.

“Sure wish you had told me this before I left the house this morning.  Thanks for waiting until it was time to go home.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure how to tell you...”

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t wear this dress again.”

“You can wear it, just don’t wear white underwear with it again.”

Awesome.

“Thanks for letting me know, darling.”

“Sure,” she skips off thinking she has done her good deed for the day.

Holy shit.  I have probably just traumatized 42 boys.  Why the hell didn’t my husband or son notice this morning when I left?  What was I thinking!  Never wear white underwear with a navy see-through dress!  Rookie!  I sure hope they are able to sleep tonight.  Chief said they will probably sleep better tonight then they have ever slept before.  Good man.    

Bee Sting

UCD worker wins award for rare photo of bee sting in action - Yolo County News - The Sacramento Bee

You know how supposedly bees die after stinging you?  The truth is not all of them do, and it depends on what they sting.  If they sting a mammal that has tough skin, they not only lose their stinger, but they lose part of their abdomen.  They can sting other insects and be fine, but if they sting hard enough to lose the stinger (and abdomen), they die within minutes. Poor bastards.  NOT.

Do you think they know that they die?  When people do stupid stuff, we know we have the chance of death.  Do you think bees know this?  Do they have to think before they poke that stinger out?  Each time they get upset are they wondering...is it worth it?  Did this dude piss me off enough to lose my life?  There are some decisions that we have to think about before acting.  Knowing the consequences can be severe...we decide if the risk is worth the punishment.  I just wonder if they wonder the same thing.  

Do you think they know they die when they use their stingers?  Surly they are chilling with their friends and all of a sudden notice their BFF is laying in the fetal position on the ground.  I am sure they buzz to their BFF’s side and yell, “Frank! Frank!! Can you hear me?  Are you okay?  Where the hell did your stinger go? No dude! You didn’t!!  Say it ain’t so! No! Frank!! Frank!!”

I feel sorry for them if they don’t know.  They never had a chance.  They are just being protective of their hive...trying to be a good citizen...then BAM!  Dead.  Poor little boogers.  Think of all the family and friends they leave behind trying not to let the team down.  They were born to do one thing.  Okay two.  Make honey and protect the queen.  Busy little guys, back and forth all day long.  What a sad little life slaving all day long for a woman.  A woman that doesn’t even appreciate them.  

Hmmm.  Interesting thought.  What an ass-backwards species this is.  Men doing everything for the woman.  I wish I was the damn queen.  Wonder how she got hooked up with that gig?  You think they had try-outs?  Like a beauty pageant?  I wonder if all the other girl bees envy her.  I think I would.  Those men are her minions.  I want to be a queen.  You think I could have pink and black stripes instead of yellow and black?  

Maybe in my next lifetime... 

Average Joe

Do you consider yourself an average person?  What is considered normal or average?  Here are some average American facts that I found...

The average American does not know what political party controls the House of Representatives.  I actually didn’t know this answer.  I assumed it was the Democrats since our country is a disaster...but nope!  It’s the Republicans!  Thanks to the Chief...who knows everything there is to know about politics. Me=average  Chief=above

The average American often or always recycles.  We always recycle.  In Connecticut we pay an extra five cents for every can, and we get that money back if we turn the cans in.  So we go to this disgustingly smelly room, and deposit all of our cans in these can-sucking machines.  After twenty minutes, I am sure I have collected every germ possible on my hands.  Me=average  Chief=average

The average American favors the death penalty. Yep.  Hang ‘em all.  Why waste tax payers money allowing them to suck up resources in prison?  Maybe if we make the consequences of breaking the law a little more severe, people will think twice before making stupid decisions.  Me=average  Chief=average 

The average American pays his/her credit card bill in full each month.  We always do, so we are average.  Me=average  Chief=average

      

The average American’s grandparents were born in the United States.  Chief’s grandparents were born in West Virginia (mom’s side) and Ohio (dad’s side).  Mine Iowa (mom’s side) and Maine (dad’s side) Me=average  Chief=average

The average American has two or more children. Ha. Nope. We have one. Thank. God.  Me=below average  Chief=below average

The average American favors spanking children, if necessary.  It is ALWAYS necessary.  We believe in spanking, grounding, locking in dog kennel.  Just kidding, we do believe in spanking though.  I was spanked as a child, Chief was spanked as a child.  We think God gave butts for a reason...and that reason isn’t for yoga pants.  Me=average  Chief=average

The average American household has air-condition.  Nope. Living in Connecticut, we don’t need one.  Last year we had one day that we wished we had one.  The year before we had two days that we went to bed naked.  If Chief had his way, we would have spent the entire summer naked...I guess this makes him the average male.  Me=below average  Chief=below average

The average American lives in an 1,800 square foot home.  Well, with all the kids we have, we needed a bigger one...at least Chief thought so.  Ours is 4,000 PLUS a 1,500 square foot basement that is a mini fitness center.  He loves cleaning this house too.  Oh wait, he doesn’t.  Ten bucks says he doesn’t even know how to turn on the vacuum cleaner.  Good thing he is cute.  Me=above average  Chief=above average

The average American has been to college, but does not have a college degree.  This shocked me.  I am surprised that the average American has been to college.  I have to say it was a relief to hear that.  I have a BS in Interdisciplinary Studies (Language Arts 4-8).  Chief has a BA in Mathematics and Masters of Business Administration.  As soon as I am hired, I will start on my Masters (Administration).  Me=above average  Chief=above average

The average American thinks the government's number-one priority should be to help keep and create jobs in America.  Chief’s thinks the number one priority of the federal government is to keep Americans safe...not provide welfare to poor people.  I might be with him on this one.  Being with him is always a safe bet. Me=not average  Chief=not average

The average American wants the government to spend more on education (74%), health care (60%), and the environment (60%).  Chief think they should eliminate the department of education and the department of energy.  He thinks they should spend more money protecting the border.  His reason? We put billions of dollars into education and it isn’t getting any better...he thinks the states should handle education (making it more competitive).  He says the department of energy was created to help America become energy independent.  It has failed.  My opinion?  I think we should spend more on education.  I think the school systems need help.  That takes money.  Me=average  Chief=not average

So here’s the deal.  We overall, are typically average.  I am excited that it doesn’t say anything about the average salt intake...it makes me look more average than I truly am. Do you think the average person eats the color blue?  I wonder if the average person has had double-digit car accidents... Oh well, those American averages weren’t on my chart.  Darn.