Don’t worry, this isn’t going to become a pregnancy blog. I do have a funny story though that I am going to share that has to do with this pregnancy.
A few weeks ago, I had an appointment with a new OBGYN. Yeah. Because I am so early in the pregnancy, I have really only dealt with the fertility doctor. So I had only seen my OB once when I went in. I really liked him, and I know it is hard to find a good OB. Some women prefer women doctors, but for me, when it comes to dealing with the vagigi, I prefer a man. The reason I prefer a man, is because I feel they are more gentle. Women, because they have had these procedures done themselves, know what hurts and doesn’t. Frankly I feel they tug, push, and pull a little more than necessary...aka they treat a vagigi like a basket of dirty laundry, digging around, sorting clothes, yanking things out, and tossing them in the machine. Men on the other hand don’t know what this feels like so they are more gentle and slow with their movements.
*ADD side note: I just remembered that when I had the transfer done, I have my legs up in the stir-ups. I am laying there, waiting on them to pass the embryo to the doctor, and I am a nervous wreck. Last time I had this procedure done (last surrogacy) it was a very uncomfortable procedure. It doesn’t feel good to have a catheter shoved in a place that is meant to be closed off to the public.
So there I am, nervous and shaking, and the doctor, a man says to me, “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt at all.” I remember thinking in my head, “Sure because you just had a catheter shoved in your vagina last week, so you of all people would know.”
Back to the story. So I’m in the waiting room waiting for my name to be called. They call me and I head back to the scale where I start to take off everything that might make that number look ugly. Then we head back to my room. She tells me to completely undress and put on the gown.
Why am I completely undressing?
Nurse: Because Dr. Smith will want to do a full examine. He is going to do a breast examine, a pap, chlamydia and gonorrhea test.
Who is Dr. Smith? That isn’t my doctor! And why is he doing all of those? I was just supposed to have a sonogram done.
Nurse: Well, because you are new to this office, it is protocol. It is what all the women go through.
Well, for some reason that was enough to send me over the edge. I bursted out in tears. I don’t just mean the sniffles, I mean full on sobbing uncontrollably. The nurse stood there stunned. She slowly approached me and put a hand on my shoulder and asked if there was something she could do, and I was so beside myself I couldn’t even answer her. She quickly handed me a tissue and excused herself from the room. After running out of the room she warned the doctor that they have an “emotional wreck in room 2”. A few minutes later, there was a very gentle knock and then a doctor peeking around the corner. Is this what I do to people? Am I that scary? Why can’t I scare my kid like that? He very carefully comes in and takes a seat across from me in the short bar stool with the wheels on them (ADD side note-have you ever played on this stool? These are so fun, they glide across the floor so easily and they have that little lever that you can go up and down...REALLY fun...Chief can we get one of those?) Then he rolls it back against the counter as far away from me as possible.
Doctor: Are you okay?
Yes, are YOU okay? You look a little scared...
Doctor (nervously laughing): I’m just fine, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. The nurse said you were a little upset about the procedures.
Yes, I just wasn’t prepared. When I come in expecting something, and get told I am doing something completely different...I just wasn’t prepared...I’m really sorry.
Doctor: No problem at all. I know you have been through IVF, so we can probably eliminate a lot of these test.
How about we eliminate them all? I have already been tested for every possible disease known to man, and why are you wanting to do a breast examine?
Doctor: We can eliminate those test, do you think we can get the records from the fertility doctor?
Absolutely, where do I sign?
Doctor: As far as the breast examine goes, that is up to you, we don’t have to do that, and since you won’t be nursing we can probably omit that too.
Excellent.
For those of you that really know me, know I often get my way when it comes to weird things like this. I just don’t let people decide for me. I am never your typical go-with-the-flow patient. I am, however, your typical kicking-and-screaming patient. An example of this. My last two surrogacys were twins. The first one was an emergency c-section. Most people think that if you have a c-section once, that you have to follow every other pregnancy with a c-section. Why do people think this? Because that is what the doctor tells them. Many women, for some reason, chose not to challenge a doctor. Me? There is nothing that pleases me more than a good challenge. Many doctors flat out refuse to do a v-bac (vaginal birth after c-section)...then you add twins to the mix, and that is unheard of. There are doctors out there that won’t even allow you to deliver twins vaginally whether you have had a past c-section or not. Why? In my opinion, it comes down to laziness. The excuse they give? It’s very risky because your uterus can abrupt or something like that. Well, guess what, that can happen with a vaginal too, but they don’t tell you that. I feel doctors just want to get you in and get you out. C-section is the easiest way to do that. Am I on this earth to make a doctor’s life a little easier? Hell no. I’m going to make them work for that pretty salary. It took probably twenty phone calls to find a doctor, with the last surrogacy, that would agree to try a v-bac. Did I get my way? Yes. Did everything come out okay? It couldn’t have been better. I had the most patient, amazing doctor anyone could ask for. And I didn’t get the on call doctor delivering my twins, I got her. She tore my lining so that I would deliver while she was on call because she knew what my wishes were. I am so sad that I am not in Texas to use her for this surrogacy. It is always important to question authority. Explore other options. There is never only one way to do things. There might be an EASY way, but that isn’t always the best way for YOU. Maybe it is. Maybe you want to be the go-with-the-flow person...how is that fun?
If it weren’t for my persistence, we wouldn’t have gotten six months of free HBO and Cinemax AND $240 refunded to our account from Comcast. Thanks to me, the Blond BFF and I got three free laser lypo-suction sessions. It is just how I am. I will get my way sooner or later. I will stand my ground. When I was 20 years old, my dad took my car to Firestone to get some maintenance done (I had a light on). They convinced him that it needed over $800 worth of work. He just told them to do it. Then he brought me the bill. I marched my ass up to Firestone and tore them up one end and down the other about all the unnecessary crap they convinced him that it needed. I walked away with a $600 refund. Do I know anything about cars? I know as much about cars as the Chief knows about doing laundry. Zip. I didn’t need to know about the crap they did. I paraded in there, that receipt in hand, and demanded a manager. He came out, all greasy and grinning.
How can I help you, ma’am?
You can explain to me what the hell you did to my car for $800?
Let me pull it up.
He stares at the screen for a couple minutes and jots some stuff down on a sheet of paper.
Here. This is of the list of things we did.
You are telling me all of this is necessary in order to get my car to drive down the road? Remember, it drove just fine when it was brought in.
Well, it was work that should be done, as far as needed...
That’s what I thought. I am not paying for all of this shit.
Well ma’am, we already did the work.
Do I look like I care? You took advantage of an old man! He doesn’t even own the car! I want to know what on this list, is what you had to do in order for that maintenance light to go off.
He proceeded to tell me a few things on this list. I grabbed the calculator in front of him, and demanded to know the cost for those three things. I added them up, and turned the calculator towards him.
So it looks like you own me about $600.
Ummm...let me make a quick phone call.
Yeah buddy, you make your damn phone call. You call the owner of Firestone. You tell him you got one feisty little lady in here ready to take rip your nuts off. He walks back over to me.
I have refunded $595 back to the card.
Thank you.
I flash him a smile that tells him he has made the safest move, as far as his nuts go. I get my way. Always.
Good Lord, where was I going with this blog? I don’t even remember where I started. I probably got really off track again. Oh well, I am done with my ranting.
Always more where that came from....
