K for BFFs

It is hard to make 7th graders understand that the friends they have now, aren’t they same friends they are going to have ten years from now.  Teaching 7th grade, I deal with A LOT of drama.  Girls are so incredibly wicked to each other.  I try to explain that it seems big now, but these relationships aren’t the ones that matter...they aren’t worth crying over.  I understand that they are hurt, and that is all that matters right now...so I just comfort them and try to sort out the drama with the abuser on the other end.    

In the 9th grade, I started a private school.  I didn’t know anyone at this school.  I was uncomfortable in my own skin.  I can’t remember exactly how she came into my life, but I just remember her being there.  There were only about 25 girls in my grade and she was one of them.  She was stunning.  Brown hair and big beautiful green eyes.  She instantly was my confidante, supporter, and friend.  This is my Brunette BFF.  We had sleepovers, and my parents adored her.  We were inseparable for two years.  We were on the drill team together, we skipped class together, we laugh together, and we cry together.  She tells me what's right and wrong when I don't want to hear it.  Two years in the private school, then I went back to a public school for my 11th grade year.   

When I was in the 11th grade, I walked into the first day of an Economics 101 class.  I sat down at a round table.  I was the second kid in the classroom. I didn’t have any friends, because I was new to this school.  I sat there and watched the classroom fill up.  My table was being avoided.  Then a beautiful blond girl came and sat down at my table across from me.  She introduced herself.  We were instantly best friends.  She had just moved from Indiana, so she too was alone in a school of 4,000.  She was alone, and I was alone.  We both needed each other.  This delightful woman is Blond BFF.  We had jobs together, and spend every weekend together...also inseparable.  This woman held my hand as I gave birth to the twins for my second surrogacy.  I was there for the birth of her two kids, holding her hand.  Our senior year, she went back to Indiana, and we were apart for the four years she went to college.  When she graduated, I was going through a rough time.  I was divorced and a single parent.  She knew I needed her.  She moved across the country to live with me and help me.  

These two magnificent women were put into my life at different times.  God knew when I needed them, and he brought them to me.  They are so different from each other, yet they are perfect for me.  It is strange how when one leaves for a while, the other shows up.  I have been best friends with Brunette BFF for 18 years and Blond BFF for 16 years.  They both have different attributes that make them special to me.  Blond BFF is one I know I could call and say, "I need you now," and she would come...no questions asked.  Yet over the last two years, I have grown closer to Brunette BFF.  When I need to cry, she listens.  When I need to vent, she listens.  When I just need to hear part of Texas, she gives that to me.  I don’t know how I got so lucky to have these two women as part of my life, but I am thankful for them.  I am thankful that I have someone who I can pick up the phone and call when I need to be heard.  I am thankful that I have someone that would drop everything and come to me if I asked tomorrow.  Who can say they have those kind of people in their lives?

I dedicate my letter “K” to these two women, because their names begin with the letter.  Thank you for everything you have done for me.  Blond BFF, thank you for moving across the country for me.  Brunette BFF, thank you for picking up the phone every other day when I need someone to talk to.  You are both so special to me, and I thank God every day for placing you in my path.  

Jobs

I have had some jobs in my life that I hate, and jobs that I loved.  There are also jobs I would have loved to do and jobs I don’t think I could ever do.

Jobs I would want to do:

1. I want to drive a back hoe.  If this means digging up dirt, or moving rocks every where...I don’t care.  I want to do a job that requires me to sit in that seat and run that big heavy equipment.  
2. I have always wanted to be a bus boy.  I know I could put the dishes in that tub and spray down that table better than ANYONE.  I would want to do it at a really busy place that just requires me to go from table to table.  Something is very relaxing about the motion of washing a table off.  I would be so fast!  
3. I want to work in a nursing home.  I would love to sit with those old people in their last days and take in everything they have to offer.  They have so much knowledge and experience.  Many spend their last days alone, and I would love to be the one to sit there and talk to them before that happens.  Then hold their hands when it is over.  No one deserves to die alone.
4. Before I die, I am going to work in a tire shop.  I want to repair and replace tires.  I want to go and hunt for the right tire, pull it off the shelf, roll it over to the car, and put it on.  I want to use that gun that puts the lug nuts on really fast.

Jobs I would never want to do:

1. Porta-potty cleaner.  Nope, no desire.  If you don’t know how to potty without making a mess, then you should have to wear a diaper.  Men, aim for the big white hole.  Not that hard.
2. Waitress.  I tried this once.  Here is the deal.  Would you want a woman with Alzheimer's being your waitress? Then you don’t want me.  I will forget your order between the table and the computer.  I will also forget that I have written it down on a pad.  Hell, I will forget I had a table at all.  Not to mention, if you are rude to me...I might just feel the need to kick you in the kidneys.  That probably won’t go over well with the boss.
3. Interior Designer.  First of all, I have no sense of what goes with what.  The pressure of trying to fix someone’s house, terrifies me.  What if they don’t like it?  Then they are stuck with it.  Would they tell me?  Would they just act like they like it to avoid hurting my feelings?  Could you hold a straight face when your walls end up orange and your floors end up green?  Your couch is plaid, and your chairs are leather.  How would you handle me as your interior designer?
4. Preschool teacher.  No desire to be around three year olds.  None.  Zip.  I don’t do diapers, I don’t do naps.  I don’t hold hands, and I don’t wipe snotty noses.  I don’t chase kids around, and I don’t stand there and pray they don’t spill their glass of milk for the eighth time.  It takes a special person, with super power patience to work with these kids.  That special person is not me.  If you leave me with your three year old, you better leave me some duct tape.  Case closed.
5. Bus driver.  I don’t have the stomach for stinky people and stinky kids.  

I might think of more to add to this later... Right now, I am in my dream job.  I don’t want to try anymore until I am ready to retire.  I will probably be 87 when I am doing my dream jobs...but it’s all good.  I will most likely forget I washed a table, so the tables will be washed multiple times.  Can you imagine me in a back hoe...at 87?  So fun!!  I will be the coolest!!

Incident...or two

We live very close to the largest casino in the United States.  Very close.  Like 15 minutes away close.  This casino is where all the concerts in the area are held.  I have to admit, there have been some artists that come up that intrigue me.  Then I remember...I hate loud places.  I hate crowded places.  A concert is both of those things.  

I have been to one concert.  One.  About eight years ago, I was living with Blond BFF.  She worked for a company that handed out cool things to customers.  One of those cool things was concert tickets.  At the time, Ashley Simpson was “in.”  I loved her...a lot.  Not only did Blond BFF have tickets, but she had second row seats.  I knew I had to go.  I couldn’t pass up these tickets even though everyone else had passed them up (which was why the tickets were available in the first place).  I didn’t care.  I was going to see Ashley Simpson.  So we got there, found our seats, and waited for Ashley to make her way to the stage.  It was AWESOME.  I remember being in absolute awe.  I was actually seeing a famous person up close.  It was the craziest feeling.  We were sitting at an angle that we could see behind the curtains off to the side of the stage.  Guess who was sitting on the table behind the curtains?  Jessica Simpson!  Not only did I get to see ONE famous person, I got to see TWO.  It was a good day.  We left the concert and sat in the parking lot for an hour.  

We were having a nice conversation, and I was finally moving through the streets.  Slowly moving, but moving.  Then Blond BFF’s phone rang.  I looked down because the ring was coming from between the two seats.  So I looked down, while driving.  My evening went from great, to shitty in about six seconds.  I slammed into the person in front of me, that unbeknownst to me, had come to a complete stop.  They slammed into the person in front of them, who slammed into the person in front of them.  I was the last car in a four-car pile up.  I hit her so hard that the seatbelt left a bruise across my collarbone.  It knocked the breath right out of me.  I was sitting there stunned, having a hard time breathing...positive I had broken ribs.  We waited for the police officer.  He arrived.  The woman in front of me was furious.  She thought I was drunk.  I don’t even drink, and didn’t have anything in my system but a Pepsi.  She begged the officer to have me blow.  I had no problem with that, but he didn’t think it was necessary.  It was a bad day.  That stuck with me.  No more concerts for me.  That ruined it.  Funny part...the story doesn’t end there.

It took two weeks for me to get my beautiful brand new Trailblazer fixed in the shop.  I got it back on a Tuesday.  On Thursday, I was driving home from work...BAM.  No joke.  I slammed into the car in front of me and created another ripple effect... For three. More. Cars.  I was again, the last car in a four-car pile up.  Cops show up.  I told him how sorry I was and explained that this had just happened to me two weeks prior.  

Me: I am so sorry!!  I have no idea what happened!!

Officer: Were you on your phone?

Me: No, I promise I wasn’t!  This just happened two weeks ago!

Officer: You had an accident two weeks ago?

Me: Yes!  I just got this back two days ago!

Officer: Do you have someone to tow your vehicle?

Me: Should I call the dealership that just towed it a couple weeks ago?

Officer: They had to tow it?

Me: Yeah, I just got a new front end put on it!

Officer: Wait, you rear-ended someone?

Me: Yes.  It was a mess.  Another four car pile up.

Officer: Hugh?

Me: Wait, what?

Officer: Let me get this straight.  You just got this vehicle back two days ago?

Me: Yes.

Officer: You were involved in a four car pile up two weeks ago?

Me: Yes.

Officer: You said you just had the front end replaced...does that mean you were the last car?

Me: Ummm...can I get taken to jail for doing this twice in less than three weeks?  Wait, maybe I should stop talking.  Damn, my boyfriend (Chief) always tells me I don’t think before I speak.  Is this what he means?  Do I need to get an attorney?

Officer: You might need one now.  Did you tell the other drivers?

Me: Not yet...

Officer: DON’T.  I need to give you a ticket.

Me: For what?

Officer: The wreck.

Me: You are going to give me a ticket for having an ACCIDENT?  It was an accident!  

Officer: Sure it was.  I will be right back.

No joke.  For real.  When I get to the dealership, the guy comes out.  “Long time no see!  You didn’t like the last bumper we put on??”  Haha jackass, at least I am keeping you in business.  Long story longer, me and concerts don’t mix.  Lets just be honest...me and driving don’t mix.  

Highway Shoes

I was driving down the highway yesterday looking at the lovely scenery.  The spring is starting to creep its way into the trees.  I love looking at the colors, the flowers that are blooming, and the shoe.  Yes, the shoe.  I’m driving down the highway and there is a random shoe in the middle of road.  This is not the first time I have seen a shoe in the middle of the road...but it is the first time I have given it a second thought.  This isn’t a toddler that has tossed a shoe out the window while mommy was driving down the highway.  This is an adult running sneaker.  How does that happen?  Possible scenarios I can think of...

1. Dude decided to go for a leisurely stroll down the highway.  He’s playing Angry Birds on his phone, not really paying attention to his surroundings.  BAM!  Car takes him out.  He is hit so hard that it knocks the shoe off his foot.  Now THAT is a bad day.
2. Having a male teenager, I know how smelly teen feet can be.  There are times Chief has threatened to throw Little Man’s shoes out the window.  So is that how this happened?  Mom just couldn’t take the smell anymore?  “Throw those out the window now.  I am about to upchuck all over myself.”
3. Remember the Flintstones?  Maybe the car wouldn’t stop fast enough so they pulled it Flintstone style and tried to slow down but lost a shoe in the process...
4. Some people put their drinks on the top of their car, maybe this guy put his shoes on top of his car.  Only one survived the ride...the other?  Lost on Highway 2A.
5. Is this some form of road rage?  Instead of throwing the finger, they throw a shoe?  Okay...if that’s what does it for ya. 

I will never understand why I see random shoes on the road.  In the meantime, I will make sure mine stay on my feet.  

Lonely Shoe

Yesterday I noticed

Something missing from my world

I went into my closet

Twirled and twirled

Turning in circles

Looking for my left shoe

For I couldn’t figure out

Just what to do

I tried to think back

To the last time it was with me

I remember getting in my car

To go on a late night shopping spree

I put a shoe

On my right foot

And told the left shoe

To just stay put

I placed it in a safe place

On the seat to my right

And took it for a spin

On a late Saturday night

It had been a long while

Since I had a companion

The last time I remember

Was at the Grand Canyon

We had a fun time

But I knew it wouldn’t last

So I was left with my Pumas 

And a tank of gas

So now I am missing

One left pink shoe

And I can’t remember 

At what point it withdrew

Did it jump out the window?

Did it leave me behind?

Or am I just forgetting...
Try to keep an open mind...

I have searched my entire closet

And I still can’t find my left shoe

I have asked a friend

And she doesn’t know what to do

She told me not to worry

It probably didn’t get far

But I am laying in bed

Wishing on a star

Please bring back my left shoe

It must be lonely without the right

They need to be together

Thank you, and goodnight.  

Gun Control

G is for Gun Control.  So the big hype right now?  Gun control.  I really don’t like to blog too much about politics.  I don’t want to talk about something I don’t really know and understand.  Gun control?  This is what I know.  Obama is trying to ban guns.  Although he hasn’t admitted this, that is what he really wants.  He currently is trying to ban assault rifles, and high capacity magazines...he also wants to make you jump through hoops in order to own a gun.

Do you understand guns don’t kill people?  PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!!  Guns don’t go off on their own.  It takes a human controlling the trigger.  Sandy Hook recently had a terrible tragedy that took the lives of many innocent adults and children.  As soon as this happened, Obama used this as a stepping stone to further his agenda.  Maybe I just don’t get it...clearly I don’t.  He is making it harder for people to get guns to protect themselves and their families for crazy people like this guy?  I mean, crazy people will find ways to get guns, right?  So if they get the guns, how do I protect myself from them if I am not allowed to have them?  I know we are currently allowed to have them, but if Obama has his way...this could change.  

Just a few short weeks ago, we had a terrorist scare.  We had two people drop off two backpacks that happened to be bombs.  People are dead.  People are injured.  Shouldn’t we ban bombs?  They kill people just like guns do.  Oh wait, we have banned bombs.  Who got their hands on them?  Criminals.  Two criminals who were on the loose.  Eventually they caught and killed one of the two...then there was one.

The dilemma?

This man was on the loose in a neighborhood.  Let me just throw this hypothetical out there.  What if he was in MY neighborhood.  He is in MY backyard.  Currently I am allowed to only have ten rounds in my gun (in Connecticut).  Here is the problem.  I don’t know how to shoot a gun.  I am fairly certain that I am not going to be able to shoot this man with the only ten shots I have.  Now what?  Take the time to change clips?  By the time I change clips he is now in my face grabbing that gun out of my hand.  He comes into my home because I have missed in ten shots.  He has a gun.  BAM!  I am dead.  My child is dead.  Chief is dead.  Now we have a terrorist hiding out in a home...safe.  A place no one will think to look for him.  This is a scary thought for me.  Let’s add another twist.  Let’s just say they didn’t kill the first guy.  So now there is two of them.  I only have ten shots to hit TWO people...ten shots, THEN I have to take the time to either switch guns, or change my clip.  Do you think with shaky hands that I will be able to do that in a timely manner?  I think not.  Bummer if I am not an experienced shooter.  With only ten rounds, it is likely I will not be able to protect my family.  Well, at least I had a gun with ten rounds to make an ATTEMPT at protecting myself.  I can’t imagine losing that right.  

I don’t claim to know and understand politics.  I am very confident that I DON’T understand MOST of what goes on in politics.  What I DO know is that right now, in the state of Connecticut, I am allowed to have ten rounds at a time.  I DO know that Obama is trying to ban guns that shoot off many rounds at a time.  Why would someone like me need to own a gun like that?  Because this world is a sick place.  If I need to protect myself and my child, I want to have the ability to do that.  I don’t want to be limited on the amount of times I can aim and shoot.  

It is my right as a citizen.  

Samuel Adams:

"Among the natural rights of the colonists are these: first, a right to life, secondly to liberty, thirdly to property; together with the right to defend them in the best manner they can."

John Adams:

"Arms in the hands of the citizens may be used at individual discretion for the defense of the country, the overthrow of tyranny or private self-defense."

Thomas Jefferson:

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

Thomas Jefferson, in an early draft of the Virginia constitution:

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms in his own lands."     

These are some brilliant men.  At what point are we going to stop the government from trying to take away our rights as citizens?  Taking weapons out of MY hands, doesn’t stop the bad guys from getting their hands on them.  They manage to get drugs, and bombs.  Even though both are illegal.  Do they think taking away our rights to own guns is going to take guns out of the hands of the criminals?  Are you shitting me?  I assure you, the bad guys will find a way to get things that are illegal.  They always have, and they always will.  Please don’t take away my gun when the bad guy still has his.  

Feel Free to IMPROVE

I have written about my C25K...

I am writing a letter to Michelle Obama, and would LOVE to get your input in my letter.  PLEASE if you see any mistakes, or ways I can word things different, I would greatly appreciate it.  This is your opportunity to rip up my writing (for the good).  Don't just tell me it is good, tell me how I can improve it.  I need to mail it out by Wednesday...so the clock is ticking!!

Thank you!!

My name is **.  I am a 7th grade Language Arts teacher at ** Middle School in **, Connecticut.  I am excited to share with you what our school is doing to follow your lead in your Let’s Move Program.  

Recently coming out of a pregnancy, I felt unmotivated to get back in shape.  I was talking to a student and told her I needed to get back into shape.  I explained that I considered doing a C25K (Couch-to-5-K).  She asked if it was something she could do with me after school.  Excited at the thought of having someone join me, I decided to open the offer up to our entire team (70 students).  I also convinced another teacher on my team, Sarah * , to run with us.  Sarah, also wanting to get in shape, quickly agreed.  Over a two week period, we went from two teachers and a student to two teachers and 13 students. 

After we got permission slips signed, we started our eight week program.  The C25K is a program that trains you to be able to run a 5k.  It starts off with a short run/walk method.  We are four weeks in and we are already up to running 3 minutes/5 minutes/3 minutes/5 minutes.  

This group of kids motivate me.  If it weren’t for them showing up every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday...I wouldn’t have stuck with it at long as I have.  These students have odds stacked against them.  They come from an underprivileged school AND a quarter of them are battling obesity.  Despite their obstacles, we have not had a single student drop out.  We have, however, gained two students and three teachers.  

I just want to share with you what it is like to be encouraged by children.  Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, these students give up their after school time (45 minutes) to head out into the warm weather for a difficult run.  To see the faster students circle the slower students and give them encouragement and accolades for running, is absolutely inspiring.  When I am struggling, I just look at them and my desire to walk dissipates.  The energy and heart they have, keeps me pushing forward.  

Our plan is to run a 5k at the end of our eight weeks (June 8th or 9th).  We feel they have earned the right to wear a number across their chest as they run through the finish line of a goal that seemed unachievable to many of them.  These kids have changed my life in a wonderful way.  I know they have motivated the other teachers and each other.  We are so proud of them and I wanted to share their achievement with you.  Thank you for promoting health and exercise for children.  

E is missing

E is missing...

Little Man: Why do grades go A, B, C, D...F?

Me: I have no clue...

Little Man: What do they stand for?

Me: A stands for awesome...

Little Man: B stands for barely there...

Me: C stands for crummy...

Little Man: D stands for dummy...

Me: It’s not a Dr. Suess book, dude. 

Little Man: F stands for fail.

Me: Okay, sounds good.

Little Man: So then why?

Me: Why what?

Little Man: Why do they leave out the “E” grade?

Me: I don’t know.

Little Man: Aren’t you a teacher?

Me: Yep, but we don’t use the letter “E”...

Little Man: I know! Why don’t you?

Me: We don’t like it. It’s no fun writing the letter “E”...

Little Man: Hugh?

Me: What?

Little Man: MOM!! Seriously! Just tell me!

Me: I can’t, it’s top secret.  

Little Man: Really?

Me: No.

Little Man: Then tell me.

Me: I have no idea!

Little Man: Empty-headed?

Me: Exhausted.  Stop talking, you are hurting my ears.

Little Man: .... Can we play the quiet game?

Me: Why do you want to always play the quiet game when I tell you to stop talking?

Little Man: It makes it fun.

Me: Why does not talking need to be fun?

Little Man: Can we play?

Me: Fine. 

Little Man: GO!

18 seconds later...

Little Man: I bet they couldn’t think of anything bad that starts with an E, so they left it out.  D and F are bad...if F is fail, then E would need to be almost fail.  They couldn’t think of anything good that started with the letter E, so they just left it out.

Me: You lost.

Little Man: Lost what?

Me: The quiet game.  

Little Man: Oh yeah, let’s start again. Go.

21 seconds later...

Little Man: Mom, can I get a snack?

Me: OMG.  Can you be quiet?

Little Man: Can I eat first?

Me: I thought you wanted to play the game.  

Little Man: What game?

Me: Holy crap! You have the attention span of a goldfish.  

Little Man: So is that a yes?

Me: Go away.