Going Green

Chief: We are almost out of toilet paper.

Me: Don’t use so much.

Chief: ....

Me: You only need three squares.  Tear off three, fold it in thirds, wipe, fold, then wipe again.

Chief: That only works for your rabbit turds.  That doesn’t work for a real poop.

Me: Don’t diss my poo because you don’t know how to ration toilet paper.

Chief: Again, get some toilet paper, we are almost out.

Me: You know I buy Charmin right?  It is two-ply toilet paper.  You can rip off three squares and separate them into six!  Double the paper...AND you are “Going Green!”

Chief: Two reasons not do to that. One, it’s a septic system so the enzymes eat up the paper already.  Two, Daddy got a job, get me more toilet paper.