Last week I am sitting on the couch with the Chief and he said something on the lines of, “How is the job search going?” I looked at him and informed him the job is great, there is no “searching” involved. “You are going to have a job by the beginning of the new school year, right?” Then it occurred to me that I probably should start looking. Substituting has kept me busy. Every. Single. Day. I do long to have my own classroom. As I sat back on the couch I started to think about going to work every day and having my very own students to teach. I decided he was right (of course I didn’t tell him that), it was time to start my job search. In the state of Connecticut, they have created this website for teachers. It is supposed to have all the open job positions for teachers. It has many, but not all of them. So after looking through this site, I started hopping on all the separate school district sites and checking there. I came across an opening for an 8th grade LA teacher, and it started IMMEDIATELY. I took the time to put my complete application together including my college transcripts, my CT certification, and my TX certification. I actually got in the car and DROVE my application over to the school district. After dropping it off, I drove to the middle school to check it out. I walked in, and went straight up and asked for the principal (by name of course). The receptionist told me he had already left for the day, which made sense being that it was 4:15. I asked if I could leave him a note, and she happily brought me a sheet of paper. Standing there, I racked my brain trying to decide what to put in a short note that might make me sound appealing. The pressure was on. I decided to go short and sweet knowing that a handwritten note in itself was going to get his attention.
Mr. B-
I just wanted to stop by and meet you! I just put in an application for the 8th grade LA teaching position you have open. I just moved here from Texas and hold both a Texas and a Connecticut certification. I am excited for the opportunity to maybe talk to you later!
-H
I read and re-read it making sure that I didn’t misspell any obvious words. Wouldn’t that be funny, an English teacher’s spelling and grammar horrific on a note to the principal. Great way to get my foot in the door. Satisfied with my simple note, I slid it across the counter to the receptionist.
The next afternoon, I am with Little Man in car on the way to the store. My phone rings, a number I don’t recognize. I answer and it is Mr. B. He told me he left me a message the day before trying to see if I could come in for an interview. He then told me he still had an opening if I was interested. I of course agreed and headed home to prepare for an interview that was quickly approaching.
An hour later, I was sitting in the office, waiting on the principal to come back and get me. After about three minutes of me sweating in my spot, he came around the corner. I followed him through a hallway as he made “small talk”. Then he leads me into a room. I come around the corner and there are FOUR. WOMEN. I panicked. Men I can handle, but women? Yowser!! Women are critical and focus on the negatives. I knew this was not going to be an easy “sell”. These women were already looking me up and down taking note of my every flaw. If I had known I would be sitting down with four hungry sharks, and a silly old bear...I would have gone with the dress slacks instead of the Mary Poppins skirt. Hoping my disposition won’t hurt me, I sit back and cross my legs trying to act like I have done this 500 times before.
As they each fire questions at me, I see myself in slow motion drowning. I have no life vest, and I have four hungry sharks surrounding me, watching my every move. They make it very clear, they need someone to start right away, the teacher has left unexpectedly. They need someone that will be able to jump right in and take over. They shoot all the basic teaching questions at me, then they throw one in that throws me off. They asked what I was currently reading. I immediately, without thinking, told them I didn’t want to answer this question. The reason I didn’t want to answer the question (unbeknownst to them) is because I was currently halfway through to book, 50 Shades of Grey. If you haven’t read this book, I will tell you now...it’s a bit racy. Who am I kidding? It’s a mommy porn book. On a rated “R” scale it is easily rated “X”. Worse than a Harlequin romance novel. Porn. I was reading porn. Good porn, but still porn. Because sometimes (okay okay Chief, always) I forget to think before I speak, instead of telling them I was making my way through The Scarlet Letter for the 86th time, I simply told them I don‘t want to answer the question. So now I have five puzzled faces staring back at me. Quick! Say something, anything. Well, anything but the truth. I couldn’t think of a lie fast enough, I knew I had to tell the truth. So I said it, and then followed it with, “Probably not something we should add to the 8th grade summer reading list.” They all gawk at me. The room was so quiet you could hear a mouse fart. I was screwed. Totally screwed. Hey, I read porn, want to hire me?
Lets just say, after the interview, I walked out with my once proud tail, tucked between my legs. I knew I bombed that interview. I knew within hours I will have to endure the dreaded phone call that told me they decided to go with someone else. Petting my ego a little, he also informed me that they chose this other person over me because she was a veteran teacher. Whatever, I thought to myself. I know you picked her because she was in the middle of reading The Scarlet Letter for the 94th time.
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