Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Oh Deer!



Me: Holy cow! Was that a deer?
Chief: Yep.
Me: Poor guy.

Long pause...

Me: You would think a deer that size would have caused serious damage to a car, right?
Chief: Yep.
Me: Enough damage that a tow truck or even a police officer might have to get involved, right?
Chief: Yep.  Maybe.
Me: Then why the hell didn’t someone tow that deer off the side of the road?  They were there at the scene anyway.
Chief: That is a whole other department that takes care of that.
Me: Oh.

Long pause...

Me: What if it wasn’t dead?
Chief: That deer was dead, I assure you.
Me: No, I mean what if it wasn’t dead when they hit it?  What if it just really hurt the poor guy?
Chief: Then they shoot it.
Me: Who shoots it?  The cop?  He can just open fire in the middle of the highway and shoot a deer?
Chief: Anyone that is licensed to carry a gun.
Me: What if it was me who hit the deer...
Chief: Wouldn’t surprise me.
Me: I wasn’t done.  What if it was me and I stopped and saw that he wasn’t quit dead.  What would I do?
Chief: Back up and run over him again.
Me: Seriously?  And risk popping my tires on his horns?
Chief: Antlers.  Okay, then let it suffer.
Me: Okay, someone hits a deer, and they don’t have a gun...what do they do? Seriously?
Chief: Hit it with a bat.
Me: Who the hell carries a bat in their car?
Chief: Someone who plays baseball.
Me: Never mind.  I am done playing this with you.  

This is a cousin of the deer we saw.  This guy is happy, not dead.

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