Christmas Clutter

There is ONE thing I love about Christmas.  The music.  Everything else?  Makes. Me. Cringe.  I hate that it has turned into a present holiday, but most of all I hate the Christmas lights.  Christmas is a cluttered holiday.  Everything about it is clutter.  Inside the house, with all the Christmas crap everywhere.  I don’t have a lot of things, but I do put some stuff out for the sake of Little Man.  I don’t want him to feel like he wasn’t raised with the Christmas spirit.  

The Christmas light thing stumps me the most.  There is one way to put up Christmas lights.  Hire someone.  Hire someone and do it right.  Doing it right....

It is very rare that I see people doing it the right way.  Everyone, EVERYONE mixes the lights and decorations on the front lawn.  I don’t get it.  I don’t know how they sleep at night.  There is no organization, no pattern, no format.  It is green on the bushes, blue and purple on the house, white on the trees, and then what the hell, lets throw some deer and a plastic nativity scene in there.  Seriously?  This is insanity to me.  It stresses me out to drive by it all the time.  I just want to knock on their door and ask them what the method is behind the madness on the lawn?  I have to think there is a method.  There is a reason.  There MUST be a reason for creating such a headache on the front lawn.  Is it for the kids?  If it is for the kids, you should teach them organization.  Teach them it should all be one color.  One color looks neat, straight, pretty.  Teach them not to wrap it around the bushes and trees because there is no way to do that in a precise manner.  There is no way to make those lines exactly the same distance between each row. Don't even TRY to tell me those stupid net lights that you flop over the bushes look good.  They don't.  They look like a net of lights you threw over the bush.  Don't do it.  Not even those are exactly straight lines.

Why would anyone let their two year old wrap their bushes in lights?

So just leave them off the bushes and trees.  Teach them to put the lights in a straight line on a straight surface...like lining the frame of the house.  But don’t use the stupid icicle lights because the wind blows those and they don’t hang straight down.  Also, don’t use the little lights because those never really hang straight either.  The ONLY way to go is the giant bulbs, like these:

These are easy to control, and they are less likely to wiggle and move around in the wind.  And they are all one color.  Genius.  Doesn’t get better than that.  

For the love of Pete, make it a learning experience for the children.  It is time to teach them nothing good comes of disorganization and clutter.  

If they don’t do it for the kids, what other reason would they do it?  If they think it looks pretty, let me tell you now... It. Doesn’t.  For my sanity, please at least give it some thought next time you go in the attic to grab your ten bins of Christmas clutter.  Think long and hard.  Think happy thoughts.  Organization.  Straight lines.  One color.  Don’t mix decorations.  Less is better.  

Please.  If you aren’t in this clutter club, but your neighbor is, please wait until 2 am, then go tear all the shit down.  All of it.  Please.   

I just had to post this last picture I found.  If this were my neighbor, I would move.  Seriously.  With or without the Chief and Little Man.  I am out.  There is no need to live next to such idiocy.