Danica Patrick

**Note**I wrote this blog BEFORE Daytona 500...so oh well.  Read it anyway. 

You can't see her feet, but I assure you she is stomping them.

Guess what’s coming up?  NASCAR BABY!!!  Just kidding, I actually don’t give a crap about NASCAR, sorry Chief.  My mom, who also doesn’t give a crap about NASCAR, calls me the other day.  You want to know why she calls me?  She calls me to tell me how excited she it that Danica Patrick is on the pole.  

Me: How do you know who Danica Patrick is?

Mom: Of course I know who that is!

Me: Dear God, you don’t even watch NASCAR!

Mom: This is the first time a woman has been on the pole! I am so excited! 

Me: OMG, how the hell do you know what “being on the pole” means?  Who the hell are you and what have you done with my mother?

Mom: I am so sick of those men pushing her out of every race!  She deserves this!  I hope she wins!!

Me: Hang on, WHILE I PICK MYSELF UP OFF THE FREAKING FLOOR. Since when do you know how other drivers treat Danica Patrick?

Mom: Of course I know that.  I hope she wins.

Me: Here is the deal.  Racing is a man’s sport.  She has no business being on the track.  Why do women have to steal everything from men?  Can’t we let them have ONE sport?

Mom: I know how you feel, but I disagree.  I want her to win.

Me: Yeah, you and every other woman.

Here is the deal.  I can’t stand her.  When I do sit down to watch NASCAR, I hope for two things to happen.

1. Kyle Busch to wreck.
2. Someone to run into Danica hard enough to knock her out of the race.

You know what?  If she went out and ran a race like the boys, I wouldn’t have a problem with her.  My problem is she doesn’t go out and run a race with the boys.  She acts like a damn girl.  When she is knocked off the track she gets out of her car and stomps her feet like a three year old.

She can’t deny it.  It has been caught on camera.  If you want to play with the big boys, you need to act like a big boy.  You can’t stomp your feet when you lose, and expect to gain respect from men that have dominated this sport for years.  

Step aside Danica.  This isn’t your day.