Make-Up Sex

So I am in the truck with mom when this song comes on.

Here are the words in case you can’t quite make it through the video.

I Hate You Then I Love You

Celine Dion

I’d like to run away from you

But if I were to leave you I would die

I’d like to break the chains you put around me

And yet I’ll never try

No matter what you do you drive me crazy

I’d rather be alone

But then I know my life would be so empty

As soon as you were gone

Impossible to live with you

But I could never live without you

For whatever you do

For whatever you do

I never, never, never

Want to be in love with anyone but you

You make me sad

You make me strong

You make me mad

You make me long for you

You make me live

You make me die

You make me laugh

You make me cry for you

I hate you

Then I love you

Then I love you

Then I hate you

Then I love you more

For whatever you do

I never, never, never

Want to be in love with anyone but you

You treat me wrong

You treat me right

You let me be

You make me fight with you

I could never live without you

You make me high

You bring me down

You set me free

You hold be bound to you

I hate you 

Then I love you

Then I love you

Then I hate you

Then I love you more

I love you more

For whatever you do

I never, never, never

Want to be in love with anyone but you

Is this song not every marriage?  I know it is my marriage.  Every marriage goes through bumps and bruises.  It is what makes us closer.  Which leads me to the title of this blog.  

So we are in the car and I am listening to the words of this song, and my ADD mind drifts off to another topic (not too far off).  Make-up sex.  

Why is it that people say things like, “Isn’t make-up sex the best?”  I haven’t actually met any of these people, but I have heard this on TV, radio, internet, and every Cosmo magazine ever printed.  Am I missing out on something?  Can someone admit to me, to my face, that after a fight they have hopped in the bed, or on top of the washing machine, and actually had good make-up sex?  I can just see how this conversation might go in our house.

Chief: Good fight, wanna go have sex?

Me: Sure, let me grab a knife, and I will meet you in the bedroom.  

Isn’t this a dangerous thing?  I mean even though a fight is over, is it really over?  I think men just think once it’s over, it is forgotten, well after a little make-up sex.  Then life is good.  In my opinion?  This is a risky move.  I am sure John Bobbitt thought that is all he was going to get.  Well, his wife Lorena had another idea.  Mr. Bobbitt was no longer able to bob it.  Can you imagine how that went down?

Mr. Bobbitt: I’m sorry, darling.

Mrs. Bobbitt: Me too.

Mr. Bobbitt: Should we finish this apology in the bedroom?

Mrs. Bobbitt: Sure, you head in there.  I will be there in a minute. Close your eyes and wait for me.  

Mr. Bobbitt: Make-up sex is the BEST!

As he skips off to the bedroom, she skips off to the shed for the axe.  

I just looked this up on Wikipedia, and did you know she cut it off then left the apartment with it?  So she hops in the car, drives for a bit, rolls down the window, and tosses it out.  For some reason this is hilarious to me!  Not her cutting it off, but her taking it for a ride.  Don’t worry Chief, remember you love me for my craziness!  Do you think she buckled it in or just rode with it in her lap?  I mean, it had to be a bloody mess right?  Maybe she just tossed it across the dash and let it ride there.    Just think, he thought he was getting a little make-up sex and instead she cut off more than she could chew.  EWWWW!!  Pun clearly intended.  

So back to the original question.  Who tell hell has awesome make-up sex?  Is this just in Hollywood or does this happen in the real world?  I’m going to need to try this out.  Hope the Chief is up to the challenge.  I will report back soon.