Thursday, June 16, 2011

Using Facebook


11 Things Facebook should NOT be used for
ELEVEN: Kid announcement when you already have more than 4. 
Okay, 36 + 8 and counting....we don’t care that you are in kid number 45.  I lost track after kid six.  What I do care about, however, is birth control.  Ever heard of it?  No one needs more than three kids at the most!   
TEN: Telling others your heading to the bathroom.  
We don’t care what you do on your porcelain throne.
NINE: Showing pictures of your drunk night at the bar.  
I know sloppy drunk men think your breasts are big and beautiful, but those of us that are sober, don’t want to see them.  Thanks in advance for the nightmares I will have for the next two weeks.
EIGHT: Poking your friends.  
So many things about this are wrong on so many levels.  
SEVEN: Venting about so-called friends.  Example of someone’s post: Love when girls are nice to my face but then turn around and talk shit about me to girls they talk shit on..seriously? Grow up! If u don't like me no need to pretend cuz I honestly don't give a shit!
My comment: I have to say, I too, talk behind your back.  
SIX: Checking in...EVERYWHERE.  
Okay, so I have used this a couple of times (when I was in NYC)...but to check in everywhere you go?  Are you TRYING to help the government out?  Why the hell do I care that you just went from home, to Walgreens, to the McDonalds on Preston, then to the mall, dry cleaners, bank, OMG, need I go further?  Please make those that are stuck at work jealous that they can’t run errands all day like you.    
FIVE: Games.  
It’s cool to play the games (I personally have yet to play one), but to post that you are playing them?  Do you really WANT everyone to know that you have no life?  This is freaking hilarious when I see this and people are supposed to be working.  So smart. 
FOUR: Posting your every tragedy.  
Are you wanting people to feel sorry for you?  Please give me the rope and the fan, I will teach you how to make it all go away.
THREE: Single/In Relationship status.  
This really becomes old when it changes every two days.  And posting: we have decided to go our separate ways... loses all validity when you are back “in relationship” with that person 4 minutes later.  
TWO: Posting song lyrics, or quoting someone famous without giving them credit.
Do you really think people think you are just that poetic with your words?  Give credit where it is due people! (You can probably add this to my list of pet peeves).  
ONE: Trying to convince others (and probably yourself) that Obama is the greatest thing that ever happened to this country.
Okay, welcome to truth: Although he took credit, he was on the 7th hole, with a cigarette in one hand and golf club in the other when Osama was killed.  Keep trying to convince us, we will eventually come to our senses and see the light.  November 6th, 2012.

No comments:

Post a Comment