Yesterday, I met Rain Man. I walked into one of my appointments. It was a lawn mower shop. It had all sorts of gadgets for fixing your lawn mower, and it had lawn mowers for sale. It was a disaster. The store had no order to it what-so-ever. This can be a really good thing for me. Disorganized working environment means they aren't really the "book keeper" type...which means easy sale. I walked up to the counter and asked for the owner. He said quickly, “Showner Owner, that’s me”. I knew immediately that something seemed a little off. In some of the cities I visit though, "off" is normal. So I didn’t look too much into it.
I asked for his statement and he quickly handed it to me and said, “Ummm yeah, here is my statement. Right here is my statement. This here is my statement.” I smiled and took his statement from him. I started to do my cost analysis.
The cost analysis I do is in an excel spreadsheet. I put in the monthly amount he does in Visa cards, and what he paid out. Then I put the amount he sold in Master cards, and what he paid out. Simple right? Then I add his miscellaneous fees together and put that on there too. Some companies have like four different miscellaneous fees. This guy had a monthly statement fee, a monthly maintenance fee, a monthly access fee, a debit access fee, and a batch fee. So the total ended up being like 67.53 for miscellaneous fees. So I have my calculator out adding all this stuff up so I make sure to put it in my cost analysis correctly. Then I show the customer what they are currently doing, and what they would be doing if they were with us.
So I go into my presentation. I show him on his statement his total Visa, then I turn to my cost analysis and show him that I put that same number in my spreadsheet. Then I do the same for Mastercard. Then I turn back to his statement and say, “these five fees here added together are your miscellaneous fees.” Without hesitation he says, “sixty-seven dollars and fifty-three cents.” I turn to my spreadsheet where I put in the total (after using my handy calculator) and noticed he had the number right. “Okay, I think to myself. He saw the number on my spreadsheet. There is no way he added those up that quickly in his head right?”
I continue with my presentation. I told him, “You are currently paying 2%. If you were with us, you would be paying 1.7%. So the total fees you paid on this month, including your miscellaneous fees, with your current 2.0%, ended up being $642.39. If you were with us on the 1.7%, with the $5.00 miscellaneous fee, you would have paid-”
“Six-o-one twenty-one.”
“Hugh?” I asked?
“Umm, six umm six hundred and one dollars and twenty-ummm twenty-one cents.”
I looked back at my spreadsheet. He had the right number. I KNOW he didn’t see that on my spreadsheet because I had to scroll down to the very bottom in order to get that number. “Holy cow! How did you know that?”
“Six-o-one twenty-one. At 1.7%...umm..that would be six-o-one twenty-one. That would be a monthly savings of forty-one eighteen.”
My mind is completely racing. Have I just met Rain Man? Should I continue? I didn’t know what to do. He threw me off. I was stunned. Completely speechless. I stumbled over my recovery. “Ummm, do you understand all this?” Of course he understands all this! He knows this shit better than I do!
“Yes, I have a $250 cancellation fee. Fee shpee fee. I also am under contract with this machine. $79.99 a month for 48 months...that is $3,839.52. I have only paid two payments, so that is umm, $3,679.54 left.”
I think I had to manually bring my jaw back up to meet my upper lip. I was stunned. At this point, I don’t know how to talk to this guy. Luckily, he has no desire to make eye contact with me, because I think he would have laughed me out of his business. I tried to register what he said. First of all, someone KILLED him on that terminal lease. Bastard, I think in my head! Can’t believe someone would take advantage of someone like this! Then again...how the hell would someone this smart that knows math like I know Walmart, agree to sign off on a lease that big? I thought to myself, okay, two choices here. I can a.) probably talk him into switching over to me and signing a new lease (which is COMPLETE robbery on my part) or b.) walk away from this guy and pray no one behind me comes in and takes advantage of him. I decided to take the high road. I told him I appreciated his time and went to shake his hand. He said, “Are you umm going to sell me a shiny new machine?” I said, “No, not today. You have a new one, you don’t need another one.” He said, “Okay girlie whirlie! Thanks for coming by!” With that I walked out, got in my car, and drove off.
What an amazing gift and an amazing curse...all in one.
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