Last night as I am flipping through the channels looking for something to watch, I spot Jaws. The Jaws movies are my all time favorite movies to watch. I am TERRIFIED of sharks. There is something about that fear-driven adrenaline rush that makes me always come back for more.
Sharks are extremely amazing creatures. To me, they are bullies. They own the room they are in, and they know it. They have an arrogance about them. They are the narcissist of the sea. They know who hides where. They know where people swim, they know where their tastiest treat lingers. They are the shit, and they know it.
I feel that people being in their territory is just a mistake. Would you step into a hungry lions den? What about a room full of screaming babies? But you put your legs into an ocean? That to me is just not using that tissue between your ears!
Sitting here in my Connecticut home, I look out the window at the thick snow coming down. I dream of being somewhere warm. I wish I was laying somewhere on a beach right now! But that is all I want to do...I want to lay there and sweat. Once I am full of sweat, and need that little cool down...I grab my handy water bottle and squirt it on myself. There is no way you will get me in that water.
Years ago, I went with a friend to Florida. We went to the beach and enjoyed the sun. After a while, she went in for a quick dip. I begged her not to, but of course she did anyways. As she is out in this ocean, with unknown beast swimming around her, I scream at her to come back in. I actually see fins! Maybe this is in my head because my fear is so strong, but maybe not. Why would you risk it? The Chief always says sharks go after fat people, not thin people. “Why would they take a toothpick when they haven’t had the steak yet?” Do I let myself fall for this? HECK NO. Sharks and me? No bueno.
There are so many things about huge bodies of water that terrify me. You never know what is swimming under your legs. Don’t you wonder as you are out there swimming around if there is something underneath you waiting for a tasty treat? Titanic HAPPENED. TRUE STORY. Your boat goes down...then what? Why would you even get on a huge cruise ship? Haven’t you ever seen Poseidon? THIS CAN HAPPEN!! What would you do stranded out in the middle of a deep black hole? Even the mere thought makes my heart sprint and my head throb. I can feel the fear as I am typing.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine yourself on a scuba trip. Everyone has jumped in the water and your exploring. Yeah, so fun. Look at the pretty rocks under the water (there are pretty rocks on the shore too). Look at the amazing plants that dance with the ocean current...(HELLO?! Ever watched a tree in the wind?? SAME THING). Okay back to your pretty amazing underwater adventure. You get carried away looking at beautiful fish (that I will remind you, you can see in any doctors office), and BAM! Where is everyone? No one is around you! You head to the surface to find the boat is gone. They have left you. Ever seen the movie Open Waters? Yeah, true story (okay, BASED on a true story...whatever, it CAN happen). Let’s see...no boat, no friends, no escape. Bet those stupid fish aren’t so delightful now, are they? What do you do? I will tell you what you do...YOU DIE. Well, first you pray, then you die. The sharks will be around at sunset which is only a couple hours away. Might as well go look at the impressive rocks below. Hope the trip was worth it.
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