C-Through

Getting dressed in the morning is always exasperating. I teach 7th graders, so I try to look hip.  Not teen section hip, but adult hip.  This is always a challenge.  This morning was no different than any others.  I am very simple and routine.  

5:45 Alarm goes off

5:46 Check Facebook updates

5:49 In shower

6:05 Towel dry

6:08 Lotion/moisturizer/hair serum

6:10 Underwear and bra

6:12 Blow dry hair

6:20 Straight iron

6:25 Eyeliner and Mascara

6:28 Get dressed in clothes that were supposed to be picked out previous night

6:30 Go downstairs and talk to Chief

6:40 Leave for work

Kids have to report to homeroom by 7:30.  Then I have classes until 2:15 (with some breaks between).  

This day goes by like every other day.  At the end of the day, we have a study hall class.  I was sitting in my classroom when one of my students (that is in another homeroom class) comes in to talk to me.  She stands and patiently waits her turn (I have a line of kids waiting to talk to me).  I assumed she was there to ask a question about the homework...like most other students.

Boy was I wrong.

She bends over very close to me and says, “Mrs. J, I think I need to tell you something...” 

I brace myself.

“Mrs. J, you can totally see through your dress.  All the boys are talking about it.”

Oh. My. Good. Lord.

Awesome.

“Seriously?!?” I moan.

“Yeah, they are all talking about your white panties.”

I vomit a little in my mouth as sweat beads poor out of orifices that I didn’t know I had.  I look at the clock.  2:10.

“Sure wish you had told me this before I left the house this morning.  Thanks for waiting until it was time to go home.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure how to tell you...”

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t wear this dress again.”

“You can wear it, just don’t wear white underwear with it again.”

Awesome.

“Thanks for letting me know, darling.”

“Sure,” she skips off thinking she has done her good deed for the day.

Holy shit.  I have probably just traumatized 42 boys.  Why the hell didn’t my husband or son notice this morning when I left?  What was I thinking!  Never wear white underwear with a navy see-through dress!  Rookie!  I sure hope they are able to sleep tonight.  Chief said they will probably sleep better tonight then they have ever slept before.  Good man.