Jobs

I have had some jobs in my life that I hate, and jobs that I loved.  There are also jobs I would have loved to do and jobs I don’t think I could ever do.

Jobs I would want to do:

1. I want to drive a back hoe.  If this means digging up dirt, or moving rocks every where...I don’t care.  I want to do a job that requires me to sit in that seat and run that big heavy equipment.  
2. I have always wanted to be a bus boy.  I know I could put the dishes in that tub and spray down that table better than ANYONE.  I would want to do it at a really busy place that just requires me to go from table to table.  Something is very relaxing about the motion of washing a table off.  I would be so fast!  
3. I want to work in a nursing home.  I would love to sit with those old people in their last days and take in everything they have to offer.  They have so much knowledge and experience.  Many spend their last days alone, and I would love to be the one to sit there and talk to them before that happens.  Then hold their hands when it is over.  No one deserves to die alone.
4. Before I die, I am going to work in a tire shop.  I want to repair and replace tires.  I want to go and hunt for the right tire, pull it off the shelf, roll it over to the car, and put it on.  I want to use that gun that puts the lug nuts on really fast.

Jobs I would never want to do:

1. Porta-potty cleaner.  Nope, no desire.  If you don’t know how to potty without making a mess, then you should have to wear a diaper.  Men, aim for the big white hole.  Not that hard.
2. Waitress.  I tried this once.  Here is the deal.  Would you want a woman with Alzheimer's being your waitress? Then you don’t want me.  I will forget your order between the table and the computer.  I will also forget that I have written it down on a pad.  Hell, I will forget I had a table at all.  Not to mention, if you are rude to me...I might just feel the need to kick you in the kidneys.  That probably won’t go over well with the boss.
3. Interior Designer.  First of all, I have no sense of what goes with what.  The pressure of trying to fix someone’s house, terrifies me.  What if they don’t like it?  Then they are stuck with it.  Would they tell me?  Would they just act like they like it to avoid hurting my feelings?  Could you hold a straight face when your walls end up orange and your floors end up green?  Your couch is plaid, and your chairs are leather.  How would you handle me as your interior designer?
4. Preschool teacher.  No desire to be around three year olds.  None.  Zip.  I don’t do diapers, I don’t do naps.  I don’t hold hands, and I don’t wipe snotty noses.  I don’t chase kids around, and I don’t stand there and pray they don’t spill their glass of milk for the eighth time.  It takes a special person, with super power patience to work with these kids.  That special person is not me.  If you leave me with your three year old, you better leave me some duct tape.  Case closed.
5. Bus driver.  I don’t have the stomach for stinky people and stinky kids.  

I might think of more to add to this later... Right now, I am in my dream job.  I don’t want to try anymore until I am ready to retire.  I will probably be 87 when I am doing my dream jobs...but it’s all good.  I will most likely forget I washed a table, so the tables will be washed multiple times.  Can you imagine me in a back hoe...at 87?  So fun!!  I will be the coolest!!