We live very close to the largest casino in the United States. Very close. Like 15 minutes away close. This casino is where all the concerts in the area are held. I have to admit, there have been some artists that come up that intrigue me. Then I remember...I hate loud places. I hate crowded places. A concert is both of those things.
I have been to one concert. One. About eight years ago, I was living with Blond BFF. She worked for a company that handed out cool things to customers. One of those cool things was concert tickets. At the time, Ashley Simpson was “in.” I loved her...a lot. Not only did Blond BFF have tickets, but she had second row seats. I knew I had to go. I couldn’t pass up these tickets even though everyone else had passed them up (which was why the tickets were available in the first place). I didn’t care. I was going to see Ashley Simpson. So we got there, found our seats, and waited for Ashley to make her way to the stage. It was AWESOME. I remember being in absolute awe. I was actually seeing a famous person up close. It was the craziest feeling. We were sitting at an angle that we could see behind the curtains off to the side of the stage. Guess who was sitting on the table behind the curtains? Jessica Simpson! Not only did I get to see ONE famous person, I got to see TWO. It was a good day. We left the concert and sat in the parking lot for an hour.
We were having a nice conversation, and I was finally moving through the streets. Slowly moving, but moving. Then Blond BFF’s phone rang. I looked down because the ring was coming from between the two seats. So I looked down, while driving. My evening went from great, to shitty in about six seconds. I slammed into the person in front of me, that unbeknownst to me, had come to a complete stop. They slammed into the person in front of them, who slammed into the person in front of them. I was the last car in a four-car pile up. I hit her so hard that the seatbelt left a bruise across my collarbone. It knocked the breath right out of me. I was sitting there stunned, having a hard time breathing...positive I had broken ribs. We waited for the police officer. He arrived. The woman in front of me was furious. She thought I was drunk. I don’t even drink, and didn’t have anything in my system but a Pepsi. She begged the officer to have me blow. I had no problem with that, but he didn’t think it was necessary. It was a bad day. That stuck with me. No more concerts for me. That ruined it. Funny part...the story doesn’t end there.
It took two weeks for me to get my beautiful brand new Trailblazer fixed in the shop. I got it back on a Tuesday. On Thursday, I was driving home from work...BAM. No joke. I slammed into the car in front of me and created another ripple effect... For three. More. Cars. I was again, the last car in a four-car pile up. Cops show up. I told him how sorry I was and explained that this had just happened to me two weeks prior.
Me: I am so sorry!! I have no idea what happened!!
Officer: Were you on your phone?
Me: No, I promise I wasn’t! This just happened two weeks ago!
Officer: You had an accident two weeks ago?
Me: Yes! I just got this back two days ago!
Officer: Do you have someone to tow your vehicle?
Me: Should I call the dealership that just towed it a couple weeks ago?
Officer: They had to tow it?
Me: Yeah, I just got a new front end put on it!
Officer: Wait, you rear-ended someone?
Me: Yes. It was a mess. Another four car pile up.
Officer: Hugh?
Me: Wait, what?
Officer: Let me get this straight. You just got this vehicle back two days ago?
Me: Yes.
Officer: You were involved in a four car pile up two weeks ago?
Me: Yes.
Officer: You said you just had the front end replaced...does that mean you were the last car?
Me: Ummm...can I get taken to jail for doing this twice in less than three weeks? Wait, maybe I should stop talking. Damn, my boyfriend (Chief) always tells me I don’t think before I speak. Is this what he means? Do I need to get an attorney?
Officer: You might need one now. Did you tell the other drivers?
Me: Not yet...
Officer: DON’T. I need to give you a ticket.
Me: For what?
Officer: The wreck.
Me: You are going to give me a ticket for having an ACCIDENT? It was an accident!
Officer: Sure it was. I will be right back.
No joke. For real. When I get to the dealership, the guy comes out. “Long time no see! You didn’t like the last bumper we put on??” Haha jackass, at least I am keeping you in business. Long story longer, me and concerts don’t mix. Lets just be honest...me and driving don’t mix.
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