Defense

Little Man has recently taken up the challenge of Lacrosse.  For those if you that don’t know...Lacrosse is hockey in the air, without ice.  It looks much easier than it actually is.  I have practiced in the backyard with Little Man.  The supplies you need?  A stick with a teeny tiny stupid little itty bitty net on the end that you are supposed to catch the ball with...as it flies through the air.  I have a hard enough time seeing the ball, much less catching it in a teeny tiny stupid little itty bitty net on the end of a ten foot pole.  Little Man?  Well, lets just say he was given my gift when it comes to sports.  I will always believe some kids were born with the natural gift of being athletic...and other kids were born with the gift of looking pretty.  Little Man?  He's adorable.

A few days ago Little Man had practice.  When he came home he was limping.  I asked him what happened.  He explained the goalie didn’t show up for practice, so the coach had him fill in.  

Me: Seriously, why are you limping?

Little Man: I just told you...coach had me in as goalie.

Me: You can barley play defense, and he has you playing goalie?  Why the hell would he do that?

Little Man: Well, I volunteered.

Me: You?  YOU volunteered?

Little Man: I know, right?

Me: How did that go?

Little Man turns around and whips down his pants just enough to show me four large welts between his lower back and his booty.  

Me: What the hell?

Little Man: Yeah, I know.  It hurts.

Later that evening, Chief comes home.  I told him that Little Man took the ball hard in practice.  

Chief: Hugh?  Why were you playing goalie?

Little Man: I volunteered to step in.  

Chief: Why do you have bruises?

Little Man: The goalie gets hit with the ball.

Chief: Only if he sucks.  He is supposed to catch the ball...

Little Man: Dad, it comes really fast, and those rubber balls really hurt.

Chief: You got bruises all over your thighs?

Little Man: No, my butt.

Chief: Your butt?  How the hell did you manage that??

Little Man: Every time the ball came my way, I turned around and ducked.

Chief: That’s my girl!

Again...just how my kid rolls.  The ball comes towards him, he turns around, covers his head, and bends over.  Takes it to the ass for the team.  Other times?  The ball flies past him directly into the goal. Either way, he loses.  

Tonight he played his best game.  He is finally getting the hang of it.  He played excellent defense, even the coach said it was the best game he has ever played.  He even got put in the penalty box!  I have never been so proud!!