Cooking experiment

As you know, I recently gave birth to a baby elephant....and my stomach shows it.  I have had two sets of twins, walking away from both of those pregnancies with very little stretch marks.  The baby elephant pregnancy?  A. Little. Different.  I have horrible stretch marks, and my stomach isn’t going down as quickly as it did the last few times I did this.  I am not complaining, the stretch marks (every one of them) are completely worth the happiness that the mom and dad have.  I am simply stating the facts.  My tummy is ruined.  I am back into my regular clothes, I actually was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans on two weeks after giving birth.  It’s one thing to button jeans, its another to look good in them. Which takes me to the point of this blog....

I am trying to eat a little healthier.  This means I am cooking.

Yes, yes.  I just wrote those words.  I have made a total of three meals out of a 15 Minute Weight Watchers cookbook that a friend gave me.

I sat down a few weeks ago with the cookbook and starting flipping through it, trying to decide which recipes I was to attempt.  I had my grocery list and starting filling it up quickly.  Making sure to carefully write down all the ingredients for a weeks worth of 15 minute recipes.  I was excited and getting motivated.  I take my happy list and Little Man, and head off to the grocery store.  15 Minute Recipes = 15 HOUR grocery search for all the ingredients.  This is what infuriates me.  This recipes may take 15 minutes of cooking time, but it takes hours of preparation.  I walked out three hours later, my excitement deflated.  Not only that, but I was four ingredients short.  Walmart doesn’t carry cooking sherry.  They also don’t carry beer.  Both on my ingredient list.  So now I had to make a trip to the liquor store.  Let me tell you how fun that was.  Let me give you an idea.  

Me: Sorry to bug you, but can you point me to the sherry?

Liquor store clerk: Sure, here it is.

Me: Do you have any smaller...ummm...jars?  I only need two teaspoons.

Liquor store clerk: Sorry.  This is all we have.

Me: Okay.  I will take that.  Now, can you tell me where the dark laaaager is?

Liquor store clerk: You mean l-o-g-g-e-r?

Me: Sure.  Whatever.

Liquor store clerk: Here.

Me: Umm, I just need one bottle, not six.

Liquor store clerk: We don’t sell it one bottle at a time.  We sell it in packs of six.

Me: I don’t want six.  I want one.

Liquor store clerk: .....

Me: How about I buy the six pack, and you keep five of them?

Liquor store clerk: Um, we can’t do that.  

Me: But I don’t want six.  I only need one.  

Manager: What is the problem?

Liquor store clerk: She wants one bottle, not six.

Manager: Just charge her two bucks and give her one.  

Me: Thank you so much!

Now, off to another grocery store for the marjoram.  Thirty minutes later I am walking out with marjoram and frustration.  

40 minutes of home prep time (picking out recipes and writing down ingredients)

20 minutes driving time to Walmart

2.5 hours of walking around the store in search of ingredients that you apparently have to go to Africa for

20 minutes of driving to liquor store

10 minutes of trying to convince them it’s totally normal to walk in a liquor store and request two teaspoons of sherry and one bottle of l-o-g-g-e-r

30 minutes of searching for marjoram

10 minutes of driving home

5 seconds telling Little Man to unload the groceries

15 minutes of cooking

$350 worth of ingredients

EQUALS.....

**I feel the need to update you on this.  I wrote this blog about a month ago and this whole eating healthy thing? Yeah, it lasted for these four meals.  Too.  Much.  Work.  Sorry, Chief.  You are still stuck fending for yourself for dinner.  Poor guy.