P for Pull-for-help

P is for Pull For Help.  Here’s the deal.  Remember how I count tiles in the bathroom?  Let me remind you... Bathroom Phobia. Almost all bathrooms have something to count if you need to keep yourself busy.  Another thing bathrooms have? Pull-for-help strings.  Did you ever wonder what these are for? 

So what qualifies as needing help?  Possible Scenarios:

1. You chose to eat about four extra slices of cheese the day before.  You’re a little bound up.  You go in to drop off the Browns at the Super Bowl and nothing is happening.  You know somethings gotta give but you need that little extra assistance.  Instead of grabbing the forceps, you pull the string for help.
2. You are on your phone, engrossed deeply in a serious back-and-forth text message conversation.  You are all: I heart you. And he is all: You are beautiful, baby.  You are all: Will you please come home early, I miss you, honey.  He is all: I can’t think of anything but you right now... Then BAM! While reaching for the toilet paper, your ass slips off the seat and you land face first into the tiles that you had previously counted.  Instead of picking yourself up, you pull the string for help.
3. You are in the bathroom bored.  You have just spent the last three hours walking around the mall...all alone.  You have no one to talk to and nothing to do.  You simply want someone to talk to.  Instead of calling your sister, you pull the string for help.
4. You have spent the last six years in and out of relationships.  You have tried every online dating service that was created.  You have been set up on four too many blind dates.  Instead of walking into a bar, you pull the string and pray your prince charming comes running.

So let’s just assume you have your reason (no matter which number above fits your situation).  What happens when you pull that string?  Does someone actually come running?  Who sits on the other end of that alarm?  Does it get fielded through some India call center?  Does someone start speaking to you when you pull it?  Or is there an actual job that required you to be the person that comes and helps?  Can you imagine applying for that job?  

Interviewer: What skills do you have that will assist you in performing in this position?

Interviewee: I can run really well...and I am very familiar with restrooms.  I have spent a good amount of time in them.  The throne and I are on a first-name-basis.

I will forever wonder what will happen when you pull-for-help.  I see these things in so many bathrooms.  I have taken some pictures for your pleasure.  If you ever happen to pull one of these and something miraculous happens...please let me know.  It will satisfy a curiosity that I have carried with me for years.