U for Ummm

U is for Ummm.  If you had to be handcuffed to someone for a day, who would it be?  Anyone in the world...dead or alive.  Who would you choose?  Who’s brain would you like to pick for the day?  Or do you just want to be in the presence of greatness?  Maybe you are thinking 

This is a really tough decision.  I could go with the obvious...

I mean, look at him.  Why wouldn’t you?  YUM!  Things I would ask him...  How did you become so hot?  Is it hard work being beautiful?  How about you just leave your shirt off for the day...here, just hand it to me...I will get it out of your way (as I shove it in my purse).  Things we would do for the day: Go to breakfast...then spend the afternoon walking around the mall...then lunch...then the beach...then dinner...then just somewhere so I can sit and pick his brain.  Who am I kidding, I don’t want to pick his brain, I just want to go sit somewhere that I can look at him!!  HOT-NESS.  

Or I could go with the right answer...the one that makes me look good...

I feel like when you are a Christian, and you are asked that question, you have to answer Jesus.  Right?  I mean if I left it at Vin Diesel wouldn’t people think: She is so shallow...why wouldn’t she pick Jesus??  I am not saying Jesus isn’t interesting...I just don’t think he would be my first choice.  I definitely have a list of questions I would ask him.  What was it like living with the pressure of knowing everyone is depending on you?  Was your mom pretty cool?  Was she really strict with you?  Why do you let bad things happen?  How much room is up there in heaven?  What do you guys do up there?  Do you have salt?  Is eating so much salt a sin...I know being a gluten is sinful...would eating a bunch of salt qualify as that?  If I were handcuffed to Jesus, I would probably take him somewhere with good food...(McDonalds?) and just sit the entire day.  

I would also love to be handcuffed to this lady for the day....

She is fabulous, and I would love to just hang out with her for the day.  I don’t really have any questions for her, I would just be in awe of her all day.  I might ask if we could just do whatever she would normally do on a weekend (minus the twins of course).  Living a day in her shoes would be magnificent.  

Then there is the wifely answer...

Kidding.  Actually, for real.  He is in a semi-powerful position.  He does hiring and firing.  He gets to eat lunch out every day.  His calendar is booked from 8:30 to 5:30.  What is it like to be that busy?  When he has a moment to spare, someone walks into his office and ties him up until the next appointment starts.  What is it like being that important?  I want to feel large and in charge!  Actually, I do.  I am a teacher.  Whatever, I couldn’t even get that out without rolling my eyes.  Those kids run the show...only because I let them.  I love my babies.  Back to him...I could totally be handcuffed to him for the day.  I know I wouldn’t be bored.  Things I would ask him: Can I play with that cool pen?  Hey, when are we going to fire someone that needs a little more than a pee-pee slap?  What’s for lunch?  When’s the next thing?  Are you going to interview any hot guys?  Do you have any snacks in here?  Can I listen in on that conversation?  Holy cow, does that say 300 unread emails?  What time did you say we are eating lunch?  If I am lucky, he might let me stay for 30 minutes.  Then I guarantee I would be on the outside looking in. 

There are too many choices, and too little time.  I have to go to bed.  I will let you know later who I choose.